August 31, 2005

Birth Order?

I saw this at Kim's, and because I'm a copycat - I'm doing it too:


You Are Likely a Second Born

At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate.
At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating.
When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism.

In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative.
Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels.
You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects.



Umm... wrong about the birth order, I'm the baby of the family.
Besides that, it's rather uncanny how accurate it was about me.
I don't think I like these little tests anymore.

A Book You've Never Read

Well, I finally did it. Finished one of my books, that is.

I did make some last minute changes - I used the publisher's cover art instead of my own, and I did not include any of the sketches - so there are no pictures. I decided to further entice the imaginations of children, a book without pictures, would be better. It's available for download or print.

So here it is:


Over many generations, the history of faeries has become clouded with some amount of myth. Some might have you believe that all faeries are bad. This is not the case at all.
Faeries are very much like human beings, in many ways. They work, they play, they have families, and they laugh, they cry, and the love one another. Sometimes, faeries are mistaken for pixies, elves, gnomes, or sprites. Most faeries are less than 5 inches tall, some are even as small as your thumb. Often, people make the mistake of thinking faeries have supernatural, or magical powers, but the truth is, all faeries are gifted by the Grand Creator of all living things, to do the jobs He has destined them to do. While some faeries can be bad, and misuse the gifts they have, there are other faeries that share a deep faith in the Grand Creator of all living things, and they live their lives faithful to Him.
They know that the Grand Creator has given them a special job in the world to tend to His creation, and they take that very seriously. This is the story of one such family of faeries, which live in the Maplewood Manor Garden.


Buy Carla's book at Lulu!





I can now get back to work on my second book project - detailing the incredible, often larger than life grace, and providence of our Heavenly Father, on the life of a very ordinary person. Me.

SDG...




Another opportunity to be a blessing

Last night my friend Nina read to me an account being posted in irc, from a fellow chatter Laura.

Laura, along with several others, was forced to evacuate the hurricane's path in Slidell (Just north of New Orleans on Lake Ponchartrain).

Laura, and the others she mentions in the following account, are friends of friends - all brothers and sisters in the Lord. Some of them I know from PalTalk chat, others are friends of friends through James White's chat room on irc, #prosapologian.
(I'm only posting a portion of this account)

Hi all...I'm fine, M & E & kids are fine. M & J & kids are fine. We are in Natchez, MS, due to the benevolence of M's uncle, and the marvelous providence of our Lord. While we still cannot find out any concrete information about Slidell, and our homes, we are safe and well. However, all reports suggest that we lost everything. I just saw a shot on tv of a 25-30' yacht, deposited ON TOP of a very large house in the Eden Isles area of Slidell, right on the lake. It's mind-boggling.

And now to the big news... God has richly provided through a serious of seemingly unrelated circumstances (no "coincidences" here), and we, as a group (though particularly E&M), have been offered the FREE use of a very large house in the historic section of Natchez. The house is HUGE, and was to be put on the market after cosmetic renovations. The owner is originally from New Orleans, and wants to help any of us refugees any way she can. Basically, she said that we have the house for as long as we need it. And considering the fact that the reports we ARE hearing say we cannot even enter the parish for perhaps a month or more, much less go home, this is a true Godsend. Depending on how cramped we wanted to get, the house COULD accommodate 4 families, it's that big. So, if another family (perhaps friends from home who are also displaced) were to need to stay there with us, it would be possible. We are so thankful for the provision of God, since housing is the one> biggest expense for refugees. However, there are still things we need. The house has no refrigerator, no pots and pans, no dishes, the owner gave us a few towels, but with 5 adults and 7 children, it's probably not enough. And until we start making income again, there may be a need for cash to pay for food, gas, etc. The house also has no furniture except one loveseat and one full-size mattress. We brought air mattresses with us, and sleeping bags, so we'll be okay in the short term, but we will really need basic furniture: table and chairs for eating and for the kids to do their homeschool work, couch or other seating for the living area, cots or beds (we don't mind mattresses on the floor, if that's what's available). If anyone is able to help with these needs, we would all greatly appreciate it...if not, please pray for God's provision.

We know for certain that a couple members of our church have lost their homes (because they were near the lake in a low-lying subdivisions). We also know that at least half the members of our church have lost their livelihoods (the others have portable jobs or jobs that will be in demand for emergency and/or rebuilding work). Some of the members we have been unable to contact as yet, so we're very concerned for them. Please pray for their safety.

So far, only 3 families are unaccounted for (we're a small church, though, so this is about a fifth of our congregation). Our church's elders have already received word from a couple other churches across the country that they are taking up collections for our church, to aid the members who need it. God is just so good.

So, while we are unable to return "home", and there may possibly be no home to return to, we are resting in the grace and mercy and provision of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Praise His holy name!
Standing by His grace alone, Laura

________________

James White just put this up today as well:

One of our #prosapologian channel regulars, Eddie Exposito, is co-pastor of Sovereign Grace Fellowship in Slidell, and was forced to evacuate with his family. Eddie and the members of his church will likely return to face major repair of damage, and some may experience complete loss of their home and possessions.
Alpha and Omega Ministries has taken steps to set up a Paypal fund to help provide for the needs of Eddie and his congregation as they return home and face the task of repair and rebuilding. Please pray for the members of Sovereign Grace Fellowship, and consider making a donation to meet their needs at this time.


Houston - you have visitors coming

After reading the news this morning, and seeing the Gov. order an evacuation of the 25,000 in the Superdome, I turned to Kev and said:

Bus companies need to send in a fleet of buses, as close as they can get, get those people on the buses and take them to the closest hotels, motels, resorts, etc. that are out of the danger zone.

Then Kev turned on the news and the man said "they will be sending in a fleet of buses, and sending those people to the Houston Astrodome.

As soon as I heard that, I thought "what an amazing opportunity for the residents of the greater Houston area to step up and be a blessing to these people!"

Houston, you're up.

August 30, 2005

Charred Toes, Anyone?

We did so well... we made it all the way to the second to the last day of August, and then:

Jessica is impaled by a pencil deep into the bottom of her foot.
Jordan gets sliced with a piece of glass.
Samuel steps into a smoldering patch of dry grass.

I'm sure ER's get a fairly large amount of foot injuries in the summer time, due to die-hard barefooters - but I'm pretty strict with the kids about it. Kids being kids they don't always listen, and end up outside barefoot anyway.

I was able to doctor the girls up myself, and their injuries are doing fine.

Samuel was a different story. Instead of catching a little nap today, I was infused with massive adrenaline and launched into auto-pilot.

1. prayer
2. ice water
3. obsessive rechecking of the foot
4. call Kev at work
5. call 911

It's pretty gross. He didn't know the barn trash was still burning (it wasn't smoking or flaming) and he stepped right into it with his barefoot. Whatever he stepped into, was melting, and stuck to his foot, and melted inbetween his toes. He was screaming unlike anything I've ever heard before. I would have been too.

By the time the paramedics got here I'd had his foot in the ice water for about 15 minutes (off and on) and he was calming down. They dressed it, and off to the ER we went. He was a trooper the whole time - asked them tons of questions, and insisted the very tall ambulance driver was a giant.

By the time they cleaned it, and re-dressed it at the hospital (and gave him something for the pain) he was in pretty good spirits and asking about dinner. They had just finished and brought in the wheelchair for me to wheel him out, when papa showed up. Something about papa walking in caused a little chink in Samuel's armour, and for a few seconds, we thought he might cry - but he didn't. He's such a good boy.

His foot is burnt pretty bad - we'll be back at the hospital daily for the next few days for re-dressing and assesing the burns. But he did manage to get an old fashioned chocolate glazed donut out of the deal.

Summer is almost over... there's 4 of us left that haven't injured our feet. This might be a good time to break out the insulated winter boots, that weigh 4 pounds each.

Consider Your Ways (a meme)

Update:

being concerned with the copyright info (below) I contacted Don Whitney to explain this "meme" and make sure he was okay with this. Here was his response:

Carla,Thanks so much for taking the time to write. I'd not heard of memes before. Thanks for updating me. I'm glad to know that the questions were helpful to you. May the Lord continue to bless you through them, and bless your blog forHis glory.
Don Whitney www.BiblicalSpirituality.org

That was really nice to get that response from him. :-) Since I first put this up - I've noticed it on numerous blogs - either in whole or in part. How cool is that? If you've done this meme, even if I didn't tag you (or forgot to tag you by accident - sorry Sal), why not leave a short note here to let me know where your answers are? It's always interesting to see how far these things go, and reading the answers would be a blessing to all of us)


______________________

Originally posted 8:28 am August 26, 2005:


You've seen them - you've done them - you've clicked past them. Memes on every topic to discovering your inner canned yam, to how many books you have on the bathroom shelf. Some are funny, some are seriously lame, some are too boring to finish reading, let alone blog on.

This morning, through a series of links, I found myself at Don Whitney's page. I've really enjoyed reading his articles & church bulletin inserts, in the past, and today one of them really stood out for me. I've downloaded the bulletin insert already.

This one:

Ten Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Year or On Your Birthday

You can click that link and read it for yourself, or download it as an insert - but I wanted to list some of the questions here (and there are really 31 questions in all) and give myself pause for thought - and hopefully you too. No need to wait for my birthday or the new year - these questions are as timely right now, as any other time. One suggestion Don makes, is that you could consider 1 question per day, for a month. I like that idea too.

1. What's one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?
Spend more time in prayer

2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?
That's a tough one, I don't know.

3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?
Exercise far more patience.

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?
I'm not sure it qualifies as a spiritual discipline per se, but I would like to see me far more gracious and compassionate.

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?
At the risk of sounding like a pompous-pious-snob, I honestly can't think of anything I do (of substance) that wastes time. I was going to say "spending time on chat" but 99.99% of the time, the conversations are Christ-centered, and so that helps me alot. I guess the real time waster in chat might be the conversations that do not edify.

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?
Hmmm... new way? I don't have a new way. I don't know.

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?
Everyone I love who doesn't know Him.

8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?
More patience with kids, especially in school.

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?
Resume the prayer journal I started last year and quickly overlooked. When I did use it, it really did help me.

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?
My influence as my children's teacher will matter the most in 10 years. Being a good teacher, is critical. In eternity??? I hope to be a useful witness of Christ to the lost.

11. What's the most important decision you need to make this year?
There are 3 that come to mind, but I wont blog on those publicly at this time.

12. What area of your life most needs simplifying, and what's one way you could simplify in that area?
This is a hard one. With 5 kids at home, homeschooling, life just isn't simple no matter how hard I try to make it that way. Maybe stress about it less, and stop being so militant about the house staying clean?

13. What's the most important need you feel burdened to meet this year?
My almost 8 year old's academic grasp. She doesn't like most subjects, therefore she drifts, and in drifting she doesn't learn like the "average" kid her age. She's my "homeschooler's challenge", so to steer her into a love of learning, is a burden on my heart this year. We're trying new things like audio books, and theme units (she loves bugs).

14. What habit would you most like to establish this year?
Focusing on things that are edifying - instead of things that are wrong, or discouraging.

15. Who do you most want to encourage this year?
My children, and my husband.

There are 16 more questions here, if you'd like to go read them for yourself. I would really encourage you to click that link. I am a little hesitant to "tag" anyone on this "meme", but I'm going to do it anyway because 1. I'd like to encourage them and 2. I'd like to see their answers too.

(the copyright info on Don's page says "Permission granted to copy this material in its complete text only for not-for-profit use (sharing with a friend, church, school, Bible study, etc.) and including all copyright information." So please do click the link to the full article - you will only be blessed by doing so).

I'm tagging:

Kim
Steph
Denise
Rob

If you've never done a meme before - it's simple. Copy the pertinant section (the questions & copyright info in this case) to your blog in a new entry (meme topic: Consider Your Ways (a meme) , answer the questions, then tag whoever you want - 3, 4, or 5 other bloggers, and let them know they've been tagged - either via email or by a comment on their blog - then come back here and let me know you've posted your entry).

A Modern Churchgoer

I named this blog what I did, for a couple of different reasons. However, if there were ever a “reflections of the times” in the more current sense, this one is it.

Last night before I went to bed I flipped on FOX news to get an update on the storm. At the bottom of the screen they have that news ticker, and I saw a name that seemed familiar to me for some reason. I missed the pertinent info about the story, I just caught the name: Steven Stanko.

Stanko was the fugitive the cops nabbed a few months ago, for various awful crimes. In part it was big news because 1. there was a lull in real news and 2. Stanko was an ex-con who had written a book about being in the pen, and how he was never going back (more or less).

I had forgotten the details though, so I googled it this morning. Here is the way the news article described how he was finally busted, after his latest round of crimes (oops, alleged, lest I be sued by someone):

Stanko was arrested in Augusta, Ga., April 12, three days after police say he went on a deadly crime spree on the Grand Strand. The crime spree began in the early morning hours of April 9 when Stanko allegedly strangled Ling.Investigators say he made the teenage girl watch as her mother was killed, then tortured and raped her and left her for dead. He fled in Ling’s car.Police say Stanko drove to the home of an acquaintance, 74-year-old Henry Turner of Conway. He is accused of shooting Turner to death inside his home, stealing Turner’s vehicle and driving to Columbia for a night of partying in nightclubs.The next day Stanko drove to Augusta and was hanging out at another bar when he met a woman, Dana Putnam, who invited him to her house and to church the next morning. Her parents read in the newspaper that their daughter’s new friend was wanted for two murders and a rape. They called Putnam and she helped the U.S. Marshals Service capture Stanko. (Georgetown Times)


Did you catch that?

“The next day Stanko drove to Augusta and was hanging out at another bar when he met a woman, Dana Putnam, who invited him to her house and to church the next morning.”

Um…

Nevermind. I think it speaks for itself.

Liberal Casserole Doctrine

Okay I have issues.

I have a good bit of left over, cooked chicken, lots of rice and noodles, and a good amount of fresh and frozen veggies.

Sounds like casserole, doesn't it?

WRONG!

Are you aware of the elite teaching that requires (not suggests) that you always add a can of cream of whatever soup, to your casserole? Did you know that if you dare attempt a chicken casserole without adding said can of cream of whatever, you're considered a culinary heretic by every recipe website in the universe? It's true. I checked.

Well guess what... I'm taking the old road. No cream of whatever, in MY casserole. Grandmas raising families way back when didn't have a handy can of cream of whatever when their kids grew up on casseroles, so ta!

I'm going to make it with what I have on hand, and it's going to be GOOD, and we're all going to LIKE it, and there will be no leftovers.

So take THAT, cream of whatever snobbery recipes - you cannot make me conform!

(if it's really good, I'll post the recipe - if it's nasty and should be condemned by the board of health, I'll pretend this little bout of rebellion never happened)

Katrina: Blessings

On being a blessing:

"HOW TO HELP: I recommend the disaster relief program of the North American Mission Board [SBC]. NAMB is the nation's third-largest disaster relief agency, and their disaster relief ministries are both effective and trustworthy. NAMB and its teams have been asked to provide 300,000 meals a day by mid-week, and up to 500,000 per day by the end of the week. Here is a link for information and donations." - Albert Mohler


On being blessed:

"God has been so good to us! Our house is still standing, we have running water, and our generator works! On top of that -- my grandparents have power and have asked us to stay with them, lil Emily is being Miss Agreeable, and the baby is sleeping for 3 hours at a time! God really protected us, and I just can't put into words the relief I feel. We've lost a lot of material things in the storm - but you know, we have flood insurance and the things we lost can easily be replaced."(continue reading at Steph's blog)

August 29, 2005

Update from Steph (Pensacola)

It's a given there are going to be what may appear endless stories of heartbreak and destruction, as a result of Katrina.

I chose to focus on those stories which will glorify God, and bless the readers here.

Steph called about 4:30 eastern time to tell me flooding was imminent at her place, so they evacuated to her relative's place a few miles north. She had electricity, water & cable, and her little one Emily was handling it like a trooper.

Praise God!

Another aquaintance from chat, that lives in NO, was able to evacuate his whole family long before the storm hit - and they are all doing well.

I'm looking forward to hearing from more friends down there. If you're in the area, please feel welcome to leave a comment and let us know how you're doing.

SDG,
Carla

MISSING: God

You've heard it countless times. If you are currently, at the time of this writing, listening or watching the coverage of hurricane Katrina, you've probably heard it numerous times just today. It happens every single time there is a "natural disaster".

People interviewed, often mention God. Some it seems, really know who they're talking about, when they do mention Him.
Reporters mention Him once in a while - in ways like "thank God" which of course for most of them saying it, means nothing.

More than anything, news reporters credit the source of the event to a pagan goddess named Mother.

Her last name is Nature.

The same thing happens, but in a slightly different way, when a violent crime takes place. When an innocent bystander happens to be wounded, or killed, these same journalists that have such a fondness for Mother, have a great relationship with Fate, and his pal Chance.

In another story coming out of Texas today, some lunatic opened fire at a small town church and killed several before killing himself. 2 of the victims were said to "be in the wrong place at the wrong time".

Were they?

As insensitive as this may sound to some, let's get real, and look at what the Bible actually says about things like this:

• Job 14:5 Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass

• Ac 17:26 And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation

If these were the only 2 verses in all of Scripture that speaks to this topic, it would be real easy to say how they could be saying something else. Not only are they not the only two, when read in context, and/or going back to either Hebrew or Greek, it's crystal clear that they are saying exactly what they appear to be saying:

Not 1 single human being ever dies by chance.
Right down to our very last second on earth, that time to die has been appointed BY God.

Now of course that does not excuse the violent or sinful way some people do die - that person responsible is still 100% accountable to God for that action. It does mean however, that is the exact time, that person was appointed to die, by God.

So we have written record of why people die when they do, and the record tells us that it's because God appoints our time - and once the end of that time has come, we cannot pass it.

And yet the mainstream media, and so many more, still attribute death, to the false god of Chance, or his buddy Fate. When you really look at this sort of statement from a purely logical, or intellectual point of view, it's almost akin to a grown man with a college education, staunchly defending the existance of the tooth fairy, with not 1 single shred of concrete evidence.
People like that are often institutionalized.

Some might argue that there is evidence of this false god of Chance - they would point back to some ancient cultures that truly did believe and write about him. They would likely also ignore that many of those ancient cultures also ate their children, raped little boys, and worshipped onions. Those parts of ancient cultures people don't like to mention. Afterall, such conduct is repugnant and/or just downright lunatic.
But hey, if they can verify this belief in Chance or Fate, that part is acceptable. Right?

Going back to their goddess sister Mother - she comes from the same cultures. She's had many different names over the years, such as just Nature, or Natura, but she's always a she, and she's always deity. She controls the weather you see, and if you tick her off, she might blow your house up with a freak lightning bolt. Or suck your cat away in a tornado. Or suck up your favorite ice cream parlour into an earthquake. That sounds reasonable. Right?

What does the Bible say about who controls the weather?


• Ps 89:9 Thou rulest the raging of the sea: when the waves thereof arise, thou stillest them.

• Ps 107:29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.

• Mt 8:26 And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.

• Lu 8:25 And he said unto them, Where is your faith? And they being afraid wondered, saying one to another, What manner of man is this! for he commandeth even the winds and water, and they obey him.

There are so many more verses that address who controls the weather - but these are just as clear as those I posted above, about who controls the time of our days on earth.

It is GOD who controls winds, rain, earthquakes, floods, and every other natural weather event you could possibly list.

Including Katrina.

I vividly remember the theological brawls (no other word seemed to fit there) folks had, after the 9-11 horror. The basic question was 'ultimately, who was responsible?'. On one side of that argument, was the response that God was responsible. On the other side was the response that men were responsible - for the reason given - that God doesn't interfere with the wicked intentions, of wicked men.

Simply because men were involved, it sort of through a monkey wrench into the whole "yes but, at the end of the day, who is ultimately responsible?" question.

Men, however, have no part in the formation of a hurricane. That aspect, doesn't apply here. But the same question is already coming up, about Katrina, that always comes up, when these kinds of things happen.

Tragedy, is just as much a part of life, as joy, illness, success, failure, life, and death. Even in tragedy, even when it doesn't seem to make any sense whatsoever - for the believer - there is great amounts of comfort in knowing that God's got it all in control. Ultimately, His will, and His plan, and the outcome of it, will glorify Him, be perfect, and unquestionable.

Because He is holy - and He is God.

I am quite certain there are many others out there who could put forth these same thoughts in a much more convincing way (and likely will) but I do hope this serves to remind us all, of the true sovereignty of God, in all things.

I continue to wait for testimonies of His grace and mercy. I will link to as many of them as I am made aware of.

God may be missing from many reporters stories, but He is right in the middle of this, whether they know it or not.

August 28, 2005

Katrina's Coming

You know, I have absolutely nothing to say about this hurricane, and all the issues it's raised today, that someone else wont (or hasn't already said) say, and likely say so much better.

If you're already sick of hearing about the impending storm - skip this post, because I'm going to say some things anyway.
These are in no particular order.

#1 My heart goes out to the people down there. The ones that did get out, but will return to basically nothing - if it does the damage anticipated. Also to the ones that were not able to get out - and are currently waiting, praying, worrying, and crying. It must be frightening, just waiting to get hit by this.

#2 the ones that didn't get out - either by choice or bad timing - and they're still at this hour (7:30 Saturday night) sitting in bars getting pie-eyed. As lunatic as it sounds, it almost makes sense. Those who hang out in bars drowning themselves in the booze, dont usually handle harsh reality so well, anyway.

#3 the fact that New Orleans likely will not be there, as we know it, by this time tomorrow. I've always wanted to visit there (not the sleezey parts), and the closest I've ever come, is New Orleans Square at Disneyland. I'll never see it, as it was. As totally selfish as that may sound, no one will ever see it again, as it was.

#4 Mothers who are in labor their right now. It's scary enough that it's coming, but to be going through this, and bringing a baby into the world, at the dawn of the 3rd worst storm to ever hit the US, must be overwhelmingly unnerving for these moms.

#5 The lack of hope so many there have - or the false hope so many have by placing their trust in this, that, or whatever. From all I've read, there's not a huge Christian (real Christians - you know what I mean) community in New Orleans. I wish they all were, and wish they all were able to pray and have the comfort of God flood their hearts.

#6 We've been watching the coverage off & on since 9 am, and talking about it all day. It's like a slow motion 9-11 of sorts (please no one be offended by that), knowing great devastation is coming, and not 1 thing can be done to stop it. Around the world, people will be glued to their television screens until the worst is over. More importantly, people will be praying, and putting legs on those prayers to immediately begin helping, once it's done.

#7 The very fact that God's hand (no, not literally, don't go all Kenneth Copeland now) is on this storm. Where it's going, how strong it is, what it will destroy, both life and structures, are of no surprise to Him. He knows exactly what the outcome will be. Millions will blame Him, hate Him more, and weep that He didn't stop it. Some will continue to find their peace, hope, and strength in Him, even through this storm. Some He may even draw to Christ as a result of this.

I know people down there. Some of them couldn't evacuate.
Some are in the direct path of Katrina.
It's very hard knowing what the potential is.
I'll be edgy until I hear from them, when it's all over.

Ultimately my hope is that somehow, God may be glorified in this.
I will wait to hear the testimonies of His grace.
I already know there will be some.

Katrina - Modern Culture

According to the news this morning:

Katrina Upgraded to Category 4 Storm

Monster hurricane with 145 mph winds could submerge New Orleans under 20 feet of water, cause $100B in damage; Bush declares state of emergency.

Like just about everyone else, I'm following this in the news. Like just about everyone else, I hope it's not as bad as forecasters say it likely will be.

The one question that comes to mind when I read this headline is "okay, now what do I do with this information?" Not me personally, I'm Ontario - nowhere near the danger zone.

I'm thinking of people in NO that cannot get out. I'm thinking of the people in NO that are sick, alone, poor, disabled, etc. In every community you have a large group of people that cannot just gas up their vehicle and drive to the next state, at a moment's notice. With the price of gas these days, I just have to wonder how many more people fall into this category that might not have, even a year ago.

Clearly, for Christian people, the first thing to do is pray.
That's a given.
Then what?

I was reading an article yesterday and came across this statement (which is also in today's article): "I know they're saying 'Get out of town,' but I don't have any way to get out," said Hattie Johns, 74. "If you don't have no money, you can't go."

I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to drive to Hattie's house and get her. Hattie could be my mom, my grandma, or yours. Obviously it's impossible to do this, however.

I'm clearly not the only one thinking of this or writing on it today. I know there are emergency shelters and tons of volunteer emergency workers doing everything they can to get people to safety, but these are still the thoughts I have - they wont get to everyone.

For me what this really comes back to is our modern day culture's attitude toward family - especially older family members.

I worked in a retirement home for a little over a year, when I was 19. I know how old folks are treated by family - I watched it every day. With some, it's no different for their families than if they lived in their own place. The families visited every weekend, like clockwork. Those were the "lucky" ones. For the majority of the others - family never came around - even the ones who had family right there in town. For me, alot of them became like my own grandparents - I loved to listen to their stories (no matter how many times they told the same ones) and see pictures, and have them share with me their newest woodworking, sewing, painting, or whatever else kind of project they were working on.

Some days there were great, others weren't so hot. Sometimes I'd leave work, and walk home crying, asking myself "where are their families!?". When one would fall, or get sick. When one would need a light bulb changed, or had a toilet back up. More often than anything else, it was the other old folks there first, to help them out. Then they'd call me in the office. Most of them quit attempting to call their sons, daughters, or grandkids, years ago. They knew they couldn't be bothered.

I have fond memories of Anna. Anna was the sweetest old lady in the whole place, and her little apartment was always immaculate. Anna forgot alot to flush her toilet however, and it backed up at least a couple of times a week. Anna agreed to let me put a sign on the back of her toilet that said "please remember to flush!" with a little smiley face on it. Anna was grateful for the sign, but it almost broke my heart that me, a stranger, was the only one she could count on to help her with such private matters like that. What made it worse was that Anna's grown son, a successful businessman, lived right there in town, with his wife and kids. The whole time I worked there, I think I saw Anna's son twice.

While I have no issue with folks in retirement homes (some people have strong convictions that it's evil or ungodly somehow), I do have issues with abandoned parents & grandparents. Alot of these folks want to live on their own, even if it means an assisted living community, or a retirement home. But they also want to still be treated as part of the family they raised - not like the old hound that was dropped off at the vet.

For some, they need to be there - as they have physical or medical needs that must be met by professionals - and this is nearly impossible in a home situation for most people. Yet again, this is treated by an abandonment attitude with alot of families. i.e. "mom's in the home, she's being taken care of, I don't need to be there". What mom doesn't need, is that attitude from her family.

I know I digressed from the hurricane topic - but it was sort of the situation in NO that got me to thinking of these things anyway. It seems the way the community handles these large scale emergencies, and even small scale ones, has everything to do with the way times have changed in the first place.

Was there a need for an organized emergency management team, 40 years ago? In most communities, that would have been the able bodied men and women, boys and girls, working tirelessly for hours on end, tending to their own families and any other family that needed help. They didn't need meetings, budgets, networking or cell phones.

They got up, put their coats on and walked out the door and tended to what needed tending to. It was just a given. A no-brainer. No one had to organize anything, folks just took a look at what needed to be done, and did it.

My how times have changed. We live in a culture now that affords the bag boy at the grocery store to act put out, if he's asked to do a carry out. That's his job, and he gets annoyed when asked to do it.

Katrina is set to make landfall by tomorrow morning. Even if it loses steam, it's still going to be bad. Pray for those that cannot safely leave today, there will be many, for many reasons.

SDG,
Carla
_________

update: minutes after I posted this:
The National Hurricane Center put out a special advisory on the hurricane's gain in strength just before 8 a.m. EDT. The boost came just hours after Katrina reached Category 4, with wind of 145 mph, as it gathered energy from the warm water of the Gulf of Mexico.

Katrina is now a category 5 - with sustained winds of 160 mph.

Results of the last poll

If you could...If you suddenly came into a ludicrous amount of money, what would you do with it AFTER giving to your local church?

• list the people that I know struggle to make ends meet, and secretly send each one enough to give them a break 65.1%

• quit my job and buy a sovereign grace bookstore 16.3%

• bury it under the back porch then change my name 9.3%

• go shopping for my family 9.3%

43 people took this poll

The majority of you said you would give to others, before your own family, or before shopping for yourself. Only 4 of you would bury it and change your name.

A thought just occurred to me as I was copying these results, and now the question begs:

Does the Bible say we’re to do for others, before taking care of our own family?

Although it wont affect the results of the poll (not that the poll matters anyway), I’m officially/unofficially changing my vote to “go shopping for my family” from “secretly helping others”.

Coming to a church near you?

I received an email this morning that (in part) asked about the PDL program. (See the new poll in the left sidebar).

The options listed are just some of the reactions I've heard from others - so I'd like to know what you think.

Take the poll or leave a comment - or do both.

August 27, 2005

Life is Short

I’m using blogger for word to format this post. I don’t know if I like it yet, or have a preference either way.
___________________

I received this via email today from a friend. I thought it was rather eye opening.

LIFE IS SHORT AND FRIENDS ARE FEW (A different perspective)

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. WE have servants who serve us, but they serve others We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

This is a test post

This is a test post from blogger for word.
Do I like it?
Do I hate it?
Does the font selection show up?
How does linking work here?

Hmm…
---------

Update: I don't think I like it as well as the blogger wysiwyg editor.

A Question on Language

I am apparently, not at all up with the times. I probably never have been, but that’s beside the point.

Today while reading through the comments/discussion on a blog, a fairly well known Christian (I’m honestly not sure what field he’s known for) was accused of posting there, using a fake name. Someone then came along using the real name of this person and posted this:

“I'd pick a better name. I am not "name deleted." Good frickin grief.”

(whether or not the commenter using the real name of the person was really him or not, I have no idea, there seems to be a lot of deception and sneaking around the blogosphere lately)

Yes, I deleted the name of the person they were accused of being – because who this is is not why I’m posting.

My question is, about that second to last word in that sentence.

If someone can, without resorting to profanity on my blog, tell me what that word means, I’d sure appreciate that.

Is it a euphemism for what I think it means? Is it completely innocent?

I looked it up on the trusty online dictionary and it does say it’s a slang euphemism for exactly what I thought it meant.

What say ye?

A few more thoughts this morning

This blog has taken a turn in a direction I don't like.

I've come under fire for expressing my convictions - big deal - I've been under fire before. In a way it's good because it causes me to pray more, and examine myself more, before God. In a way it's bad, because I hate controversy and want no part of it.

When I started this blog it was for the purpose of expressing my thoughts and my heart, about where God has brought me from, and where I am now. My kids, my husband, my life, my joys, my sorrows. In a word, it was to express: me.

At the risk of sounding completely self-absorbed, I blog here FOR me. It's the same reason many people keep a journal, or paint, or sketch, or sculpt, or any number of other creative outlets that people use to express themselves. The one really nice thing about doing it on a blog, is that you get to meet others who either share your experiences, or challenge your thinking by offering different views. The thing about blogging in the alleged God blogosphere, is that you get to meet others that share your faith, and encourage you in your desire to live holy before our most Holy God.

I've met some of the most incredibly wonderful people through this blog. You know who you are.

So in light of all that, I really do not like the turn this blog has taken. I suppose it's partly my doing, since I had the audacity to express my disagreement on a few issues lately. Someone told me yesterday (and it appeared the only reason to say it, was to stir up strife) that some of my online friends who agree with my position, were actually declared ANATHEMA by someone in a public online format. That's going a bit overboard, I think.

My first reaction to that statement was "so what?".
My second reaction was "if I am declared anathema by someone because I dared to stand on the written word of God, bring it on".
My third reaction was "why are you even telling me this, it sounds like gossip".

I hate gossip.
I hate strife.
I hate false teaching.
I hate double-standards of tolerance/intolerance.
I hate standards of preferrential treatment, i.e. being a respector of persons due to social (or any other) standing.

Is hate too strong a word? Maybe, I dont know. The Greek word means to detest. The Hebrew word for detest means to count as filthy or an abomination.

Are these things a detestable, filthy abomination before God?

Yes, they are. The Bible addresses every one of these issues in great detail.

I recently said here that I would be turning things around on this blog to focus more on the edifying, the uplifting, and the fruitful.

I would like nothing more than to do that, but in reality, it's just not the way it is right now, for me personally. Which brings me right back to where I started with this entry:

When I started this blog it was for the purpose of expressing my thoughts and my heart, about where God has brought me from, and where I am now. My kids, my husband, my life, my joys, my sorrows. In a word, it was to express: me.

This is me, expressing me. This is a season of strife, controversy, so on and so forth, the things I hate, but things I have to deal with because there they are.

The ultimate question for me now, is how I deal with them.
The #1 place to deal with them, is in prayer. This much I know to be true. By His grace, wisdom, guidance and strength, the result will glorify Him.

This is my true desire.

And now, I have pancakes to make, then yard sales to attend.

SDG,
me

Public appeal to an anonymous brother

I have alot on my mind this morning, and I'm not sure

a. if it's prudent and/or profitable to address certain issues I'm mulling over and
b. which issue to address first

At the risk of receiving much criticism, I'm going to address an issue that I don't normally address publicly.

The one issue that's really disturbing me, is the recent rash of antagonistic comments left here. I debated with myself to even mention it, for the sake of not giving it the attention it doesn't deserve.

The two reasons it bothers me the most might surprise the readers here.

1. I have a very good idea of who it is
2. We have entertained that which we ought not entertain

Let me address #2 first. By that I mean, we've (some readers and myself) taken the bait (in a sense), obviously left to get something going. I'm no different than anyone else, and responding to such things is quite tempting (defending one's position, righting a wrong, defending a friend, etc.). At the same time, I see this conduct in chat, on forums, and in email, on a very regular basis, and know where it usually leads. It usually leads to more of the same - and rarely leads to resolve, and/or reconciliation. Offline, face to face, this doesn't happen to the extent that it does online. At least not in my own experience. It's a little hard to hide behind an "anonymous" tag when you're doing this face to face. Online, however, there are just some folks who are lulled into a false sense of "I can get away with this, if I post anonymously" mindset, and do this sort of thing, quite often.

When the motive is to stir up trouble and toss out personal jabs, resolve and reconciliation almost never happens. Even though it's very hard to do (for me personally) I do believe that this verse addresses what our response ought to be toward those who routinely engage in this kind of activity:

Pr 26:20 Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.

The other passage that comes to mind, for those who are truly brothers and sisters that DO have a problem with doing this sort of thing, is this one right here:

Psalm 139

1 O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

There is no such thing, as anonymous conduct, before God.

I said there are 2 issues about this that disturb me. The other one is that I have a relatively good idea who this person is.

I thought about not revealing how I know, in an effort to verify it, when and/or if they post again. I don't know if that's the cop in me, or just a fleshly attitude to "get him". I abandoned the idea, because I don't want to "get him".

I have sitemeter installed on this blog, and it's a handy little tool for keeping track of the stats of the blog. How many visitors, what time of day, etc., so on and so forth. What some may not know, is that sitemeter also offers tools that tell you how people got to your site (the referral url), what type of system they're using (which browsers, etc.) where they are (city, state and country) and even what ISP (earthlink, cox, rogers, etc) they're coming from. It also shows the exact time they entered the site, how long they were on the site, and which pages they entered to, and exited from.

Most of this is completely useless, but entertaining information. However, at the times the antagonistic comments were left here yesterday, and there were several time frames, there were only 2 people on this blog. Both were at the very same entries where the comments were left, at the same time, and for close to the same amount of time. One entered the site thru a referral url, the other entered from their own ISP. There is more information I have on both visitors, but I suppose you get the drift.

One visitor I am familiar with, but I won't say anymore about that person's location for various reasons. The other visitor I am also familiar with, as I know 2 people who live in the same city he logged into this site from. It's a VERY small town, and the odds of it being a coincidence that one person in that town, is someone who has caused me grief before, is not posting here anonymously, in a very similar manner as before, I would consider very low.

One of the visitors I do not in any way consider a brother in Christ - the other I do (although we have had our differences in the past, BIG differences).

One of the visitors is known for what might be called "stirring the pot".

It's entirely possible the anonymous comments left yesterday, was one, or both of them. It is however a fact, that it was at least one of them. And both have done this before.

My appeal is to my Christian brother who was here yesterday during this time frame. I will not name you, as that would only cause you issues to deal with that are none of anyone's business. I will not however, come to you privately, as I have done this before, and it did not result in resolving anything. I would simply implore you, if indeed this was you, to repent, and turn away from doing these kinds of things. There is nothing good in it, at all. It serves nothing but strife. It does not bring glory to God in any way, shape, or form.

I have no solid proof, either way. Know this however, neither of you are anonymous to me, and neither of you are anonymous to God.

Did I just take the bait and give this the attention the posters so clearly wanted? Yes, I did. And I did it for the sake of the one brother, that he might be convicted of this type of conduct, and turn away from it, if indeed it was him.

It may not make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me, and I can only hope it makes sense to the person who has done this.

I wont say anything else about it.

SDG,
me

August 26, 2005

Dropped like a bad habit

In the last 10 days or so, over 50 blogs out there have removed their links to me.

Do I care? Sure, in a way it sort of feels insulting. As if to say "you bore me, go away".

On the other hand, I think maybe it's good to be less noticed.

Either way, I still had the best sunrise in the whole world, this morning (see header pic).

I hope you have a fantastic friday.

SDG!

August 25, 2005

Converted to Truth

Excerpt:

I'd like to examine an issue that's been a fairly dominating topic of conversation lately, among my circle of friends. The topic is "experience superceding the written word". This is a personal, and delicate topic, due to the fact that we all have very emotional experiences that contribute to defining who we are, how we think, etc. More specifically, I want to look at how experience determines what we think or believe surrounding our conversion to Christ. And this is where it gets personal for alot of people - and personally treading on what seems to be holy ground - for many.

I didn't blog here tonight, because I blogged here, instead.

Awkward thoughts about me

Yesterday in chat, someone remarked that they had done a google on my name. I'm not sure why anyone would do that, doing a google on strawberry rhubarb pie, makes more sense. In any event, he came to the mic and jokingly said, "hey, we have a celebrity in our midst". He said that due to the google search result.

I cringed.

I don't know where this is going really - but something about that statement just made me feel real awkward - like I wanted to shrink down to a wee 4 inch person and run under my desk so no one could see me.

I guess it stands to reason if someone has been online since 1993, and participated in forums, chats, websites and blogs, and uses their real name, it's going to come up when you do a search. That hardly classifies one as a celebrity.

The thing is, I don't want to be a google stat. I don't like it. For alot of reasons.

For one, it scares me into thinking I might get a big fat head, and think I'm all that and a bag of blogs. I know I'm not, but I also know what 'being known' can do to people. Every one of us battles pride, and I'm no exception. My pride issue tends to run the opposite direction though. Instead of thinking "I am so very cool" my self-centered issue says "you're a freak and most hate you". Either way, it's still a self image issue, and at times one that I really struggle with.

Another reason I don't like this idea of being known, is because people can go back and read some of the really awful things I wrote years ago. Before I was saved... newly converted... still an arminian-thinker, etc. It's uncomfortable knowing that those are out there somewhere. Again this goes back to that inverted pride issue - i.e., 'you're a freak and have no idea what you're talking about'. In a weird way, I suppose it's good that those things are still there, because it keeps me humble. I can honestly say "I am not a know-it-all, and I can prove it" and give a link to something I wrote in 1998 that will make the reader go "eww, she's a dolt". Please don't ask me for a link, I wont give you one, I'm too paranoid that you'll hate me.

Something else that bothers me about this, is that it (in a way) causes me to feel like I have to write about certain things, and not write about other things. If I know people are watching (which I really find odd - you must have very dull lives - or you're doing a case study on oddballs), sometimes when I sit to write, I start questioning myself on is this okay, will someone get ticked off, who can I offend today with this topic... and things like that. In other words, I feel like I'm performing for an audience, and I am a lousy performer. For proof, see the faux-axe-murderer scenes. I had Vivian laughing so hard with my most scary expression. I don't cut it as a convincing actress.

Even writing this, about my concerns about being "known" (which in the grand scheme, and in comparison to REAL known people, amounts to basically nada) has left me questioning why I'm even addressing it publicly. I guess it's just because it makes me feel squirrely. I guess because it's part of why I write - to express my thoughts and in some small way, stay accountable.

I know there is a way to remove certain links (entire sites, or sections of sites, etc.) from google, but I lost the link and can't remember where it was. I'd really like to do that, if I ever get the time.

Over the last couple of weeks, this topic of known, or influential writers (in the evangelical world) has come up in conversation alot, with several friends of mine. While I truly do not consider myself in ANY way, a contender in this field, it really has made me take a harder look at several pivotal issues that have been raised. Such as... accountability, theology, humility, willingness to say "woops, I was wrong there, let me correct that", and things like that.

Honestly, I have no idea where I fit in. I'm no expert on anything, I can assure you of that. I'm not afraid to say, to hard questions on doctrine such as eschatology, "um, I have no clue, sorry" and even that annoys some people who insist on pegging you in one category or another. I'm certainly not a "celebrity" and quite possibly the worst faker-actress you'll ever meet. Pretty much what you see here, is who I am. A mom, a wife, a lover of great 60's and 70's classic rock (please dont go fundamentalist on me), a teacher (of my kids), a whiner at times (did I mention my arm today yet?), an avid bird watcher, a hack photographer, and a so-so graphic designer. My mom, and prolly 3 other people in the world would also say I'm very funny, and do a great Robin Leach impersonation. These people don't get out much, but I love them all the same.

Most importantly, I am a student of the Word, and at the end of the day, to me, what matters the most is "did I live, speak, walk, talk, think, react, in the way that brings glory to my Lord?"

Now if anyone has that "how to remove your fool self from google's cache" link, please let me know.

I'm off to make oatmeal for a small army.

SDG,
me

Isaiah 40:31

Several years ago, Kev and I took the kids to one of those wild animal drive-thru zoo deals. You know the kind, you drive through the psuedo-natural setting of lions, tigers and bears. Oh my. It's a pretty neat place.

At this one, they have petting zoos (no, you don't get to pet the tigers) and all sorts of other attractions. One of those attractions is a falcon flight demonstration - and it's very cool to watch these birds, and their handlers.

Before the show started, I walked around looking at all the exotic and domestic birds. One of them was the beautiful bald eagle. He was just standing there on a log-stump, as if to say "excuse me, what are you looking at?" So, I did what I do, I took his picture. He was very accomodating - he even turned a few times for various profile shots, and full-face shots. I think he thought he was a model.

As I stood there and admired this great, majestic bird, I thought to myself:

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint.

I was inspired, and somehow the visual treat of being that close to a real eagle, just really made me consider the power of God to strengthen His people.

Not long after, that bird became one of my very first "Scripscenes".

This verse has been on my mind alot lately, so I re-visited that graphic, and completely re-did the whole thing.

And here it is:
Isaiah's Eagle on Mousepad.
Browse the other items with this graphic, here.

August 24, 2005

What would you do?

Let me just toss something out here and see what you all have to say.

Hypothetical scenario:

John MacArthur posts on his blog (no, he doesn't have one as far as I know) that to be saved, all one has to do is spin on their head, and sing 3 Guess Who songs, backwards. In German.

Reader looks at statement, and after being revived from a shock induced coma, thinks to himself a few things.

1. Well respected Bible teacher - reaches alot of young and easily influenced people.
2. Just put out a teaching that is 100% Biblically inaccurate.

Reader considers addressing this teaching but is informed:

John's kids have all just joined cults, house just washed away in a flood, cat has been diagnosed with MPD, and neighbors are moving away in droves.

In other words, he's under a great amount of personal stress. Therefore, reader is advised NOT to address the unbiblical statements, as this would only serve to further stress the poor man to beyond his limit.

Biblically, what is your decision? Please think carefully before you answer.

(please understand that no disrespect was meant to JM, he's great, and I admire his work tons. His name was used for demonstration purposes as a very influential brother - and for no other reason)

Happy Me

Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Pr 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Pr 15:15 All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.

merry: joyful, merry, glad

heart: inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding (mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory)

countenance: face, presence

Since yesterday morning, I have laughed more, and smiled more, than I have in any 24 hour period in a longer time than I care to remember. Being around funny, upbeat, edifying people, has a tendency to do that to a person.

Avoiding unpleasant, unedifying, unproductive, negative people and attitudes, has been a welcome relief in the last 24 hours.

As a result, my patience with the kids was improved, my overall, general attitude was improved, my mood was light, and my arm even felt better, and I slept all night without waking in pain, for the first time in 12 nights. (No cracks from you Rob, or I take your horse away! inside joke - assuming he gets it).

I just wanted to express my gratitude to the people who in part, responsible for this slice of joy in the last day. I'm not going to name you, you all read this blog and I think you'll all know who you are. You've really blessed my heart.

This may or may not be a little mountain top before another valley (just a wee reality check there) - it doesn't matter either way, I'll take it.

My hat is off to happy-peppy-people. I'm glad they drink their Vitameatavegamin.
I'm even more glad they all love the Lord.

No group hugs, I draw the line there.

SOLI DEO GLORIA,
me

August 23, 2005

Secret Movie Project

Very few people were aware of this before today, but there's a movie project underway, right here in southern Ontario.
Oh yes, it's true.

Scheduled for world-wide release later this year, is
"Chatters of the Corn". The original title was:

"So You Met a Friend From The Internet And She Was An Axe Murderer, Eh?".

The title was shortened to appeal more than just paranoid, Canadian audiences.

Well known chat-actresses CA & Estero , were caught on film today, shooting this scene, in the cornfield. It's much harder than it looks to film a axe wielding scene, hence, the multiple takes.

You have to scroll all the way to the bottom for the surprise ending to this movie.
You will NOT believe it!!

(pics have been removed for privacy reasons)

And the real victim in this heartpounding epic...

My "Guido the Pizzaria Guy" - Dollar Store shoes!
They met their end, in the corn fields.


(thank you Vivian for such a great visit - we all had alot of fun!)

A Chat with Matt (Slick)

A friend of mine, who happens to be a pastor, often says that blogs (yes, even Christian ones) are nothing more than gossip columns. #wince#

In truth, he's right, in many cases. Not all, but many.

For that reason, I wish to be very careful in how I word the following entry.

For another reason also, I want to be careful. I want this blog to inform, to edify, and to lift people up to a higher standard (the Bible).

I couldn't sleep for a long time last night, as my mind raced with thoughts of how to word this. I prayed, then it raced less.

As regular readers here know, I have recently questioned (universalist Christians here, and here and salvation with knowledge of the resurrection of Christ here) some teachings at CARM.

Before I even posted my first entry on this, I emailed Phil Johnson to ask his perspective on it. I don't always agree with everything Phil says (I know, big shocker, eh?) but I appreciate his insight, and do value his opinion - as do many others. Before I even emailed Phil, I tossed a few of these statements from CARM out to the good folks in #prosapologian (James White - Alpha & Omega Ministries) and supplied the url to the CARM page on Christian Universalists. I asked them the same things I asked Phil "does this line up with Scripture?". Hands down, after they all read the page at CARM, they said NO.

Here was what Phil had to say on this:

"Carla Rolfe ponders how to respond to an influential "Christian apologist" who claims universalism is perfectly compatible with the fundamental truths of
Christianity.

The guy acknowledges that universalism is unbiblical. But he insists it's an error that doesn't impinge on any essential doctrine of Christianity. Therefore, he says, it's a "difference of opinion" that ought to be tolerated within the circle of our Christian
fellowship.

I agree with the concerns Carla has raised. Universalism is a denial that
God must be feared and believed by those who will be saved, and that absolutely is the most arrogant sort of repudiation of one of the first and most fundamental teachings of Scripture: "Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6).
The error Carla has highlighted illustrates once again the folly of thinking the fundamental doctrines of Christianity can be reduced to a short list of five." (source)


Now before I continue, if this is all beginning to sound like a drawn out drama, I do apologize. I felt it prudent to lay the groundwork for where this all came from. I do wish to add 2 more things here, before I go on to address the confrontation I had last night with Matt Slick, in paltalk audio chat.

1. Denise aka Surphing, has also written on this, at her blog - and you can read that here.
2. My reasons for writing on this in the first place:
a. Sound doctrine
b. Responsibility of well known evangelists/apologists/authors/speakers

Now to last night.

When I logged into chat, Denise contacted me and told me she was in a room with MS, and he was about to answer her questions. I thought "great, I'd sure like to hear him address these specific questions we've discussed" so I went into the room. Instead of addressing the specific questions, MS was listing his experience and credentials. He does this alot, and it can go on for a while, and I've heard it all before. I wasn't interested, so I left and opened my room.

Denise came in, and we discussed inviting MS in to answer the specific questions her and I both had written about - without an audience - without a listing of his resume - without getting sidetracked into one area or another. We both wanted straight answers to his Christian Universalists position, and his statement that he was saved without believing in the resurrection of Christ. He has said he never denied it, but at the same time gone back and forth on whether he even knew it, or knew it but didn't know how. In my mind, if you don't know something, you certainly can't believe it in your heart, as Romans 10:9 says.

In retrospect, I should have created a private, locked room, where no one else could enter. That would have been better. When MS entered, the first thing he said was he was uncomfortable in my room, because he wanted a fair audience. I wasn't interested in an audience, he was. I can also logically assume part of his discomfort in my room stems from the fact that I enforce the common courtesy rules (no name calling, insults, etc, toward other chatters) and can, and do, frequently remove a chatters ability to type or speak on the mic, when they cross that line. MS has been in this position before in my room, and he was not happy about it.

So the ground rules were basically laid out: we have questions about specific things you've written about, we'd like to hear your answers, from the Scripture.

Pretty simple request, we thought.

In minutes, the room filled with the audience MS was looking for. Plenty of witnesses present, some said we handled it very well, others weren't happy we were enforcing the rules.

Matt was all over the place with his answers to both topics, universalist Christians and resurrection-less salvation. Answering questions with questions, ingoring much of the Scripture posted into the room, then began accusing both Denise and I of misrepresenting him, treating him unfairly, restricting his free speech, and not being as educated or experienced as him in these things.

In reading over the saved chat transcript of the night, I'm honestly not sure if he ever did give 1 straight answer. After a couple of hours, he became too frustrated with us for restricting his ability to speak, when after numerous accusations toward us of "twisting his words" he was told flat out to stop making that accusation or he would simply be removed from the room. He hd a very difficult time staying on topic, and left to open his own room where he said his speech would be free. Many left to go listen to what he had to say. He did make numerous threats before he left, that we could be sure he'd write about this on his site, and people would know the truth. I'm sure he will do just that.

The whole situation left me with more questions than answers. When questioned why he edited his page to change his statement about knowing about Christ's resurrection, he insisted we all went to the archived page. Not a true statement at all. In the last week or so, that page has been updated at least twice, that I am aware of. It was not an archive, he was changing things there, as people began to question what was there. This is the exact conversation on that topic (my screen name on PalTalk is Christ Alone):

(10:46 PM) Matt Slick: you stated it had been updated
Christ Alone: on my first blog entry I wrote about what you said in chat, less than a week ago - not what you wrote
(10:46 PM) Matt Slick: you wento the ARCHIVE site
(10:46 PM) Matt Slick: what do you think THAT means?
(10:46 PM) Matt Slick: you linked to the ARCHI:VE
(10:46 PM) Matt Slick: can you ask your questions
(10:46 PM) Matt Slick: good
(10:47 PM) Matt Slick: glad you did that
Christ Alone: matt the archives of pages don't change twice in a week
(10:47 PM) Matt Slick: you did
(10:47 PM) Matt Slick: don't call me dishonest
Christ Alone: one was changed the next day, to say what you said on the mic
(10:47 PM) Matt Slick: ad hominem
Christ Alone: the next changed came a couple days later
(10:47 PM) Matt Slick: can you ask your question

He never did confess to editing the page to change his statements.

When asked about his faith in Christ upon conversion, without believing in a resurrected Christ, his answer (in audio) was that he KNEW (his emphasis) he was saved, because Jesus was literally, and physically present with him, at that moment. On his testimony page he says something similar:

"This may seem unbelievable, but the only way I can explain it is that Jesus Himself manifested right there next to me. He had come to meet me on my knees. It wasn't as though I could see Him or touch Him. But, He was there. I was aware of His Holy awesome holy presence next to me. It was incredible. It was wonderful and I felt my heart enveloped and lifted by Him. His concern for me was precious and tender. It was marvelous…. He enveloped me in His love, His holiness, and His awesome greatness. I knew He was there to forgive me. I knew He loved me. I basked in His presence. I was with Jesus……" (source)


So in essence, he's based his conviction of his conversion experience, on an experience itself, and not the written word. He openly admitted again in the room last night that he did not know Jesus had risen from the dead for 2 years, until some famous Bible teacher he named, told him, 2 years later. To which he said he responded in surprise "really?!". He then changed his testimony again to add that he doesn't remember if he knew, which contradicts his expression of surprise, at hearing the news, 2 years later.

This is the text chat conversation that followed his audio statement:

(11:19 PM) Denise - Surphing: surprised?
(11:19 PM) John - DaMountainMan: The physical ressurection is part and parcel of the gospel.
(11:19 PM) Denise - Surphing: How can you be surprised if it was part of the gospel?
(11:19 PM) Denise - Surphing: Scripture says you weren't, not us
(11:19 PM) Estero777: no you said it
(11:19 PM) Estero777: lol
(11:19 PM) Denise - Surphing: your suggestions are wrong
(11:19 PM) Denise - Surphing: so I don't go for it
(11:19 PM) Denise - Surphing: no
(11:19 PM) Denise - Surphing: its what YOU say
(11:19 PM) GuitarGirl83: ((((((pointer))))))))
(11:19 PM) Estero777: You just said that someone who does'nt know Jesus rose from the dead can't be saved
(11:19 PM) Denise - Surphing: not what Scripture says
(11:19 PM) Nina - a5pointer: (((((((((GG)))))))
(11:20 PM) Denise - Surphing: You have to BELIEVE it
(11:20 PM) Estero777: Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. (TO NOT KNOW...means ONE CANNOT BELIEVE)
(11:20 PM) Denise - Surphing: Your changing it again
Christ Alone: Matt, you didn't believe it - you said yourself you didn't even know it
(11:20 PM) Denise - Surphing: now you don't remember?
(11:20 PM) Denise - Surphing: which is it???
Christ Alone: and yes, now you're changing it again

So, at the end of the chat when he finally left in frustration, after accusing us repeatedly of misrepresenting him, twisting his words, etc., so on and so forth, I'm honestly not sure what good came out of the whole thing.

I said in chat last night, it did NOT go the way I wished it would have. All I wanted was simple, straight answers, to specific questions. That did not happen. Some contended we (the administrators of the room) were unfair to Matt and didnt let him speak freely. They were correct, we didn't allow him to slander us the way he tends to do with people that challenge what he teaches. I've seen it time and time again, and was not going to allow it in my own room. I suspect this might be the reason more people do not publicly question what he puts on his public sites. I dont blame them, it was not a pleasant experience.

I have no idea what Matt will write on this, but I'm fairly certain 3 of us there, myself, Denise and Nina, will not be painted with a pretty brush.

There were at some points of this conversation, upwards of 40 people in this room. Many witnesses to what was said, and how things were handled. I did my best to be fair, to keep the chat on topic, and make sure common courtesy was the order of the room. If I failed in that in any way, it wasn't out of some secret mission to do so (as I was accused of, later).

If anyone would like to read the entire chat transcript for themselves, just let me know. I may just make it available here as a download, if there is any interest. Bearing in mind, due to the mixture of audio and text chat, not all that was said last night, will show in just the text portion. And it's 42 pages in msword format.

Conclusion...

Pray for Matt, for those who learn from his site, and for Denise, Nina and myself. This was an awkward situation for me personally, since I'm not a polished apologist, or a gifted speaker.

I hope that didn't all sound soap-opera-ish, but out of respect to many who asked if I would sum up last night's situation, there it is.

SOLI DEO GLORIA
Carla

p.s. I have already decided I will not be visiting this situation again. This does mean that I will not be responding to whatever MS puts on his site - and it does mean I will not persue this further, except to possibly answer some of the comments to this entry. I am moving on from this, I've expressed my opinion and my position from Scripture, and any more attention would appear to be redundancy on my part.

August 22, 2005

A Very Odd Story

I debated with myself on whether or not to blog this, this morning. It violates all rules of blog protocal and etiquette, and might even disturb a few people. I've decided to blog it anyway, and if the response is too awful, I'll remove it. Just a warning, it's rather long, so if you're a coffee drinker and want to read it, now is the time for a refill.
----------------------------

In the early 1800's, a very old doctor was hard at work in his smalltown doctor's office/lab. He busied himself with his life's passion, at every free moment he had. This doctor was nearing the end of his very long life (he was almost 100 years old), and the prospect of dying before finally acheiving his life's goal, only served to motivate him more, each day.

His life's work? To create a super-human race. Men and women with superior intellect, intuition, discernment and compassion. Physical characteristics weren't a big concern of his, but the mental and intellectual powers were his focus. He'd read the Bible stories, and heard countless sermons on the depravity of man, and believed if he could simply isolate the cells in the human body that were fallen from creation, and then remove them, the result would be pristine-state people, similar to Adam, before the fall.

After decades and decades of failed experiments with human cells, and babies born with deformities too gruesome to mention, the old doctor's last experiment turned out to be his crowning glory. In his eyes, anyway.

Through a complicated series of tests, and failures, experiments and alterations, he managed to isolate what he believed to be, and soon termed, The Depravity Core, in the human DNA. Of course he had no idea what DNA was, at the time. In many ways, he was very much ahead of his time - in other ways - shades of the old world of Babel Tower builders.

After completing a very guarded, very secretive process of selecting a young couple to participate in this experiment, the old doctor took very ill, as the 9 months slowly passed, and his life's work, developed in the womb of the young country wife. To this day, the actual process of how he managed to get his isolated-cell experiment in the sanctity of the womb of this woman, is a mystery. To be frank, the child did bear a striking resemblance to both his mother, and his natural father.

The old doctor knew that this was his last experiment. His 100th birthday was quickly approaching, and his failing health, had finally gripped his body in ways he'd not dealt with before now. He was bedridden, and almost completely blinded, by the time the baby was born.

The day arrived, and the child came into this world. Rumor has it, the mother felt no pain at all. Rumor has it as well, the child never cried, but made a cooing sound, and seemed to smile. The young couple brought the newborn baby to the doctor's office, to show him off. While the old doctor couldn't see any more, he was able to hold the baby, and take great comfort in hearing the report that the baby was strong, and healthy. He was as pleased with his work as he could have been - even not knowing if the cell-isolation experiment had actually worked.

He would never live to find out. Only days later, in the late hours of the day, on his 100th birthday, the old doctor fell asleep and never woke again.

The young couple raised up their boy (his name was never recorded in any public documents), and all through his childhood, they believed the old doctor's experiment worked better than they could have expected. The boy never cried, even when hurt. He reasoned things out, and was a quick thinker in ways to solve problems. He was tender and sensitive to others, and all in all, was just a very good child. By the time the boy reached about 17 years old, he was quite handsome, well known in his small town for his intellect and tenderness, and considered quite a catch.

He also quickly became known for something else. The closely guarded secret of his conception, was not a secret at all, in this town. It was never spoken of publicly, but almost everyone knew how this child came to be. Pride, and vanity and jealousy consumed the parents in this small town, and soon the idea to marry their daughters to this young man, and have grandchildren just like him, became an obession with countless families.

The obession of the parents infected the daughters, and quickly the obsession turned to abandon of all moral and logic, and before long, numerous young girls, were whisked away to closed quarters of their homes, as their bellies grew with the consequences of their actions. Vanity, lust and pride had overtaken them, and they now suffered greatly.

They had no idea how much more they would suffer before it was all over.

The young man turned 18, and almost to the minute of his birth, on his 18th birthday, his bones and joints began to ache, and throb. A simple annoyance at first, but as the hours turned to days, the pain became all encompassing, and it affected him from the joints in his feet, to the muscles and tendons in his face.

The old doctor’s experiment was working just as planned – even though it was not his plan. In his effort to isolate the Depravity cells, he removed a crucial cell, that regulated physical growth. He was ignorant of this, and the results would now be seen, long after his death.

The young man began to change, and change very quickly. His bones were growing, his joints were expanding, and his entire stature was changing day by day. The growth hormone in his body was pumping at 100 times the speed of it’s normal capacity, and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do to stop it. His skin, oddly enough, didn’t stretch as quickly as it needed to, to accommodate his bones and muscles, and ripped, and tore, and left horrible wounds that had to be tended to hourly, to keep infection from setting in. Like the countless young girls all through the town who were now hidden away in shame, by their parents, the young man was also kept in a back bedroom, tended only by his parents, during his transformation. During the 9 months all of his children developed, he did too.

No one in the town knew any of this was happening. Those parents that did not fall into the vanity-trap for their daughters, were kept completely out of the loop, about what happened to those girls. Stories vary, but some say there were as many as 50 young girls that year, that just suddenly vanished from this town. A story was invented about the girls – that their families sent them away together, to a larger city, to work together in a new factory. It seemed believable, for a time.

Likewise, they didn’t know what happened to the young man. Some said he moved away to find work and put his roots down in another town. Others said he traveled across the ocean to visit far away lands. It didn’t seem to matter, no one took his sudden disappearance very seriously, and as the months rolled by, people eventually stopped talking about him, and the missing girls. Life in the small town went back to normal. For a time.

In the back bedroom of his parents home, the young man no longer resembled his former self. His father had to build a special bed, to hold up his weight, and accomodate his massive size. He was no longer the handsome young man, he had been just 9 months ago. He was no longer recognizable at all. His face was misshapen, as his jaw on the left protruded much farther than his jaw on the right. His eye sockets were sunken and his ears were as large as corn cobs. His arms and legs were both hideously misshapen as well. The joints in all, were larger than they should be, and bulged under the quilts his mother had sewn together to make a blanket large enough to cover him.

For the first time in his life, he cried. For the first time, he also complained, and got angry. He didn’t understand what was happening to him, and his heart ached to know, and to have someone fix it. His parents were silent. The thought of confessing to him what they had done, horrified them, and so they never told him.

Near the end of the 9 months, his growth had begun to slow down. The pain was a little more tolerable each day, and he was able to sleep finally, without strong medication. The morning of the 9th month, he awoke without any pain at all. It was the first time he had smiled, in a very long time. His smile was hideous, baring gums with missing teeth, and too large for his lips to cover completely. In his heart however, he was grateful and happy, that his pain gone.

That day was also the birthday of the first of his children, although he did not know it. What he also did not know was that the mother of the first of his children, had suffered right along with him, during those 9 months. She was not carrying a single child, but triplets, and all of them were growing at the same rate of speed their father was.

She longed for death, and even tried a few times to end her own life, during this time, but death would not come, and would not be the release for her, she hoped. Like the father of her children, she also had to be heavily medicated through the pain, to bring her some relief, and silence her screams of agony. No one really knows for sure, but most believe it was the combination of pain, and the sight of her children upon the day of their birth, that caused her madness. She never spoke again, after that day. She rarely even moved. She sat, and stared into space, as if looking for a way out. She never smiled, never cried. She had to be fed, dressed, and bathed by her own mother.

This was not only her life after the birth of her children, but mirrored identically the lives of all the other young girls, immediately following the day of the birth of their children as well. None of them had a single birth. All of them bore twins, or triplets, and several cases of quadruplets. Yet another error in the cell isolation experiment, that the old doctor couldn’t have known he made. All of the young man’s children, were multiple births. Some have said, as many as 200 children were born that year, in that small town. In dark rooms, under heavy secrecy.

Aside from being grotesquely deformed and hideous to behold, these were all normal babies. Mentally and emotionally, quite normal. They cried when hungry or wet, and their grandmothers bore the burden of taking care of them, as their mothers had all gone mad, and were now sitting silently in their rooms. The very same women who were once consumed with vanity, were now consumed with the burden of caring for what many called, little monsters.

It wasn’t long before the secret was no longer a secret. Stories swirled around the town like a dark storm cloud, and eventually some townspeople were knocking on doors to search for the truth. Some families, in a false sense of relief, were even eager to let the people in, to see the children. As the toddlers sat and played on the floor with each other, they appeared at first glance, to be perfectly normal children. Until they stood, and smiled that grotesque smile, that horrified those unprepared to see it. The very fact that as toddlers they were almost as tall as full grown men, was just another reason to send more than a few visitors running from their homes.

It wasn’t long before the families in this town, with “normal” children, packed up and moved away. Every last one of them, left. The only families that remained, were the grandparents taking care of their mad daughters, and deformed grandchildren, and the parents of the once-strikingly handsome, intelligent young man.

It wasn’t too long after the families that fled, that the town received a flood of new visitors. Refugees from the town began to talk, where they’d settled, and eventually the newspapers in those cities began to catch wind of this story. The curiousity seekers made their way to the town, to see “the monster children” and their “monster daddy”. Numerous candid pictures were taken, and appeared in larger city newspapers. Almost no one believed the pictures were real. Almost everyone wrote off the stories as some fantastical imagination of a young reporter. But it was good for sales, for a while.

One of the young reporters did invent quite a few details, and wrote a piece about the old doctor, claiming to have seen his experiment notes, where he called the future child of his work, “The Son of The Son” referring to Jesus, the Son of God. While the old doctor was indeed mad, in his own right, he never did call the child that, it was just an invention of the reporter, to stir even more controversy. It did work, and the young man who was the father to all these deformed children, became known for a while in the big city media as “The Monster Son”.

As the years passed, the media attention faded, and the children grew up together in this small town. Simply because they appeared “normal” to one another, and were perfectly normal and healthy in every other aspect, they all got along as well as any other children do. They played together, schooled together, and worked together. They knew no other life, and they were as happy and as content as children can be.

An odd thing happened though, as the first set of children, the triplets, approached their 18th birthday. They began to suffer increasing pain in their joints, and muscles. As the days wore on, it was the same identical set of symptoms their father had told them about, as he approached his own 18th birthday, so many years ago. They were stricken with fear, and sorrow, expecting the worst to come, as they understood by social standards, they were already as ugly and deformed as possible. The idea of getting worse, plunged their hearts into great sadness.

But that isn’t what happened. Instead of growing larger, and more deformed, they actually began to shrink. Bones, tendons, joints, muscles, organs – everything about their physical makeup, began to shrink at the same rate of speed. The pain was unbearable, and like their father before them, they were reduced to being bound to their beds, heavily medicated by their parents, as they suffered through this transformation. Thankfully, it did not last 9 months like their father’s had. In less than a month’s time, it was over. Like their father before them, in the opposite extreme, they looked like any other young, 18 year old men. There was nothing whatsoever unusual looking about them, aside from their striking handsomeness.

Needless to say, they were shocked, relieved, and just a little nervous about what all this meant. Their own half-brothers and half-sisters had also begun to go through this as well, and as word got out among them, of what was to come, it was almost a welcome transformation, even though dreaded, for the pain it would cause.

Some were more than confused. The way they looked, was normal to them. They really didn’t see any reason to want to be any different, since they all shared the same deformities and stature. Suddenly now, some of their siblings were “normal” which to them, was the oddity. The real issue was however, they knew there was nothing they could do about it. The genes they carried that would bring about this change, were the genes of their father, altered long ago, by a mad man looking to dabble with a medical shortcut to remove sin, and depravity from the human being.

Since their birthdays were all just a few short months apart, they all went through this change, and the result was just a little different from one to another. Some were stunningly beautiful, while others were rather plain looking. Some were handsome, others not. All of them however, were transformed into what would be considered in that day, to be average height, and average appearance.

As the years went by, their mad mothers eventually passed away, along with their grandparents. Their own father lived a long, and painfully lonely life. They all took care of him, and sooner or later, many of them moved away, or married newcomers to the town, and started families of their own. All of their children were born healthy, and of average stature. The gene experiment ended with their generation.

With the passing of time they each learned of the truth of how this family history was altered by a man trying to make a name for himself, by dabbling in places only God had any business going.

For them, the words to this song, in particular this very verse, became more of a reality, than many take them to be. These people understood these words to their very core:


What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.


(The above is not a true story – it was a pain medication-induced dream I had last night. As dreams go, the details might be fuzzy in some places – but there it is, all the same)

August 21, 2005

Inverted Blogspotting?

For those of you who are regular Pyro-readers, you know Phil's put up another blogspotting post. One in which, this lowly girlie blog is absent from, this week.
Yes, I have been passed over this go-round, and I wept and lamented.

Okay, no I didn't, but it sounded good, eh?

Anyway, out of curiosity I went to Technorati and typed in my name to see how Phil does his blogspotting. I have no idea how he does it - but when I did it, here were the results on the first page:


1. Some reading material for the weekend
Posted 7 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

2. Commenters' gallery
Posted 9 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

3. The triumphant return of BlogSpotting
Posted 11 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

4. Over the past few months, more than a few people...
Posted 17 days ago in Emergent No 44 links
By Rolfe

5. Omnium gatherum redivivus
Posted 25 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

6. Who Let the Dogs Out?
Posted 31 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

7. Dog Days (continued)
Posted 36 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

8. Links 07-07-2005
Posted 42 days ago in The Thirsty Theologian 0 links

9. Links 06-28-2005
Posted 42 days ago in The Thirsty Theologian 0 links

10. My EC Discussions Landed at Emergent No
Posted 53 days ago in Miscellanies on the Gospel 30 links
By Rob Wilkerson

11. Websites: The Good, The Bad & The Theologically...
Posted 57 days ago in Think Christ 5 links

12. BlogSpotting where I left off Monday
Posted 60 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

13. More BlogSpotting
Posted 68 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

14. BlogSpotting
Posted 63 days ago in PyroManiac 309 links
By Phillip Johnson

15. Grace and Truth added to the blogroll
Posted 63 days ago in BatesLine 314 links
By MichaelBates

Okay... anyone notice a trend here? I found it rather humorous that in my efforts to see the results of my own "blogspotting" experiment, the most links back to this blog are from Phil himself.

Phil... you're weird. :-)
I don't know how you do this, but this was funny.

Something Rotten in Geneva

My friend Denise shared an event with me last night that once again made my jaw drop.

In a Christian audio-chat, she heard a man (well respected, professing sov gracer) proclaim that he was saved for 6 months before he ever knew or believed in the historical person of Jesus.

When she questioned him on how he could be saved without believing who Jesus was, she was told (literally) to "shut up" (repeatedly) and "don't you talk to ME that way" and "how dare you question my salvation".

Once again a person professing TULIP, whom I have heard with my own 2 ears say that one must believe on the person and the work of the Lord Jesus Christ, to be saved, has a completely different standard when it comes to his own conversion testimony. Once again a person who goes ballistic when challenged about statements that simply do not square with Scripture.

What does it mean to "believe on the person" of the Lord?

Well, I could be all wrong, but I think it means that we must believe that God came in the flesh, in the form of Christ, dwelt among men, died on the cross for the sins of those that the Father gave Him, then rose again on the third day.

This literally, actually, historically happened.

So if you claim to be saved, yet claim also to not know Jesus was a historical person, what in the world is your faith in?

A myth?
A story?
A fairytale?
An idea?

I find it striking that in the last week, 2 men of the sov grace flavor, who are both well-respected and admired by many, have both lauded their conversion experience over and above what Scripture teaches - and both profess Sola Scriptura. And both were not happy at all to be questioned on it.

I find it striking also that it's been women (for the most part) who have picked up on this. Women... the folks that are supposed to be emotional, given to much persuasion via experience and feeling. Questioning these men... men, the folks who are supposed to be analytical and staunch defenders of Sola Scriptura.

Seems something is a wee bit awry, eh?

August 20, 2005

Q and A

(Updated twist at the end of this entry, originally posted 12:09am August 17, 2005)

Q: can a person be saved, and not believe the resurrection of Christ?

A: depends on how popular you are?

Okay, I wasn't going to blog about this again, but the more people that heard about last night's chat, the more discussion arose as a result.

Another result was, Matt Slick edited his "Can a Christian be a Universalist" page to include the very thing he said in audio chat last night:


"People can be saved in varying degrees of theological error. There are regenerated people who do not understand predestination, don't accept election, don't understand federal headship, are clueless about imputation, Christ's eternal priesthood, covenant, etc., yet they are regenerated. They simply haven't learned those doctrinal truths yet. Are they condemned for not rightly understanding these very important biblical teachings? No, because the ones I just listed in this paragraph are not declared to be essential doctrines by the Bible.
In fact, I did not know that Jesus had physically risen from the dead until two years after I became a Christian. How is that possible? Well, I
wasn't taught it or I missed those sermons.
But, once I heard the truth, I believed it. Would anyone say I wasn't saved until I believed Jesus physically rose from the dead even though I had received him and trusted him to forgive me of my sins? I certainly hope not. The truth is that I believed in the physical resurrection of Christ because I was saved. I did not become saved because I believed he physically rose. Likewise, for the Calvinists, does regeneration occur when we understand proper doctrine? Or is proper doctrine the result of regeneration? Remember, we are saved in (and from) our sins as well as our errors and God graciously and patiently works correction in us." (source)


So in other words - regardless of the fact that the Bible says you MUST believe in your heart that God raised Christ from the dead (Romans 10:9-10), the teaching at CARM is, you don't have to believe that, or even know it, to be saved.

Oddly enough, Slick's standard for determining if Universalists are saved, includes the essential doctrine of the resurrection (here)

"There are essentials of the Christian faith. I have developed a "doctrine grid" where I have tried to arrange essential and non-essential doctrines into an easily understandable system."

You'll see his standard for Universalists there. But his own standard for his own salvation, denies knowledge or faith in, the resurrection of Christ.

BUYER BEWARE... that's all I have to say about CARM.
-----------------------------------------------------------

I just received an email from someone concerned that part of MS's statement on his ignorance of the resurrection of Christ, was omitted. Apparently the source link listed above, has now been edited to say:

"In fact, I did not know that Jesus had physically risen from the dead until two years after I became a Christian. I knew he had risen, but I didn't know how. How is that possible? Well, I wasn't taught it or I missed those sermons. But, once I heard the truth, I believed it. Would anyone say I wasn't saved until I believed Jesus physically rose from the dead even though I had received him and trusted him to forgive me of my sins? I certainly hope not. "

I find this interesting. Simply for the fact that when he said this in audio chat, he did NOT say, that he knew Christ had risen, but just didn't know how. In fact he stressed at least 3 times "I didn't know, I did NOT know, I just didn't know". He never said he knew, but did not know how, and there were many, many people in the room that night that heard him make that statement. If he meant to say he knew, but did not know how, he had every opportunity to stress that. I don't believe that is what he meant at all, since the first edit to his page after this chat session, said exactly the same thing in print, that he said on the microphone

"In fact, I did not know that Jesus had physically risen from the dead until two years after I became a Christian."

And now the testimony changes?

Again - buyer beware.
(edited 11:29pm August 20, 2005)

Living the Words of Christ

Our Mission pt.3 – it’s been a really busy day for me, and I don’t have this finished yet.
Look for this tomorrow.

I would like to express my pleasant surprise at my recent blog-poll.

The overwhelming amount of pollsters have said they would, if they suddenly found themselves the recipients of a large sum of money, make a list of people they know who struggle, and secretly help them.

Time to let you in on a little secret. No, I’m not secretly rich, and no, you’re not getting any money. (If I could slap my knee without hurting myself, that’s what I would be doing right now).

The secret is, every once in a while I briefly day dream about money. Probably because we don’t have any to spare, let alone stretch, most of the time. If this daydreaming sounds sinful, keep reading.

While it is true that money, or material things are not the most important things in our lives – it is also true and (very practical) that without it, people struggle and stress, and making 1 can of beans stretch for a whole family meal, isn’t as easy as it sounds. I know people who go to bed hungry, so their kids can eat enough to be full. I know people who cannot afford to live healthy (medical and dental care) because the funds they might use for that, have to go toward things like winter heating fuel, or a car repair so dad can get to work.

When I thought up this blogpoll question, it was because of a situation just like those mentioned above. I know a family who is learning how to eat different, to eat cheaper, because they can’t afford groceries. I thought “what if I had 800 bazillion dollars, what would I do with it?”

The answer was the same it’s always been, whenever I think of something like that. I would pay off mortgages, old debts, buy winter boots for kids, take care of dental expenses, cover prescriptions for the next 10 years, fix roofs, replace cars, and buy tons and tons of groceries. Friends, family, church family, the lady at the store with 4 kids with her, paying for her small amount of groceries with change, the man who walks to work with worn out boots, and the lady at the post office with missing teeth. (Dental bills are not covered under Canada’s health care system). I see alot of people with missing or really bad teeth. It's sad.

I can think of so many people I would love to help, the list would be endless, and I’d run out of money before I’d run out of people.

Jesus said in Matthew 25:34-40 that what we do unto the least of these, we do unto Him. He mentioned the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, the man without clothes, the sick, the imprisoned. Jesus referred to physical, material things here – and even though many will translate this text to spiritual needs, I think it’s just as important to not forget the literal, physical needs that people have. These needs are real, and those who go without, know all too well just how real they are.

Well, it’s a nice thought to imagine having a boatload of money, to be able to do all those things for people – but the thing is – we don’t need a boatload of money, to do them. As the Lord affords us the opportunities to feed, clothe, visit, and just be a friend to a stranger, we need to seize those opportunities and thank Him for them. These opportunities come in many shapes and sizes, and it’s important to learn how to recognize them.

Let me share just a few examples that might be overlooked. I’m going to use the setting of a grocery store, since this is where I spend most of my social life – being the mother of a small, but hungry, army.

1. The food bin at the entryway of the store. What would it cost to purchase a full meal (canned meat, pasta, sauces, seasonings, canned veggies and fruits or pudding mix & powdered milk), and place it in that box? If a full meal is more than you can afford, how about a can of pork & beans? What’s a can of pork & beans these days, 65 cents? I assure you, that food does go to people who need it, and I can attest to this because I’ve been on the receiving end of that food bin. Imagine if every person shopping in a grocery store every day, took Jesus’ words literally, and placed 1 bag of groceries, or even 1 item in that bin.
That bin would be overflowing by noon.
I’ve never seen it overflowing, have you?

2. The young mom with a screaming baby or toddler. I realize this summons up all sorts of reactions from people. I have a lot of kids, we all know this. They’ve never freaked out or thrown tantrums in the store, but I can tell you, if they HAD, a kind word from a stranger would have gone a lot further than a dirty look or insulting comment under someone’s breath. Would it really be so hard to simply say to the mom something like “I understand, we went through this too, they DO grow out of it”? Or how about making a funny face at the kid, to get their attention? Kids LOVE funny faces, and believe it or not, this really does work, on some kids. If you do that, and they stop freaking out, say “see, what a good boy you are!” I know how cornball that sounds, but it WORKS, and yes, the mom hears it and sees it, and is blessed and encouraged, and no longer embarrassed that little Billy is making a scene. Would this be a good example of what Jesus meant when He said “I was a stranger and ye took me in”? I think it would be. Strangers don’t like to feel all alone, and neither do moms in grocery stores with squawking kids.

3. The old man or old lady pushing a walker, or in one of those electric scooters. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this in the store, where they are trying to reach an item on a shelf and they just can’t stretch that far. These people are old, their bodies are either sick, or broken, and they’re still plugging along, trying to live a normal of a life as possible. Trust me, it’s not that hard to reach the item and put it in their cart and say “there ya go, did you need anything else in this aisle?” They might not say thank you, or they might run over your flip-flopped foot with their scooter, or they might smile and be very grateful and say yes, get me that case of Mountain Dew, eh? Either way, at the very least, can we not take 14 seconds out of our lives to ‘visit the sick’ and tend to their needs in such a small way?

Those are just a few, very small examples, in a very controlled setting of a store. But it’s reality for most people I think, unless you buy your groceries online (which to me seems truly demented and bizarre, but that’s beside the point). It’s a very practical way of living out the very words of Christ.

Now let me also confess one more secret. I hate grocery stores, with a slobbering, mad-man-like passion, I hate grocery stores. There are at least 8,432,650.6 reasons TO hate grocery stores, and maybe one day I’ll list them all. Probably not, because I have a feeling once I began to list the reasons why I detest grocery-gehenna, I might begin to notice these are actually hidden opportunities that the Lord has afforded me in my every day tasks, to feed, clothe, visit, and take in a stranger.

Color me convicted.

SDG,
me

August 19, 2005

Our Mission pt.2

In part 1 of Our Mission, I shared some thoughts about prayer. Yet it just occurred to me that I never really made it clear what our mission is. Sharing the good news of the Lord Jesus Christ! I think maybe I just naturally assumed every Christian understood what our mission to be. I think maybe that statement is more revealing than I intended it to be, in that while it may appear obvious to some, it may not be so obvious to others. Which is why we need good, solid teachers, to point these things out. I would like to remind my readers that this is the study that was delivered via inSpeak.com last night, by good friend, and great brother in Christ pastor John Lane.

Part 2 of Our Mission is living it. Pastor John shared with use these verses:

Matthew 5:16
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Philippians 2:14-15
Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world

Christian living. Christian conduct... I confess I fall SO short it's embarassing. Someone sent me a very kind email today and in part it said "thanks for letting us peak into your world and "see" what it looks like to be a Godly woman, a loving wife, and a dedicated mother". I read that part and almost cried - thinking - "doesn't this person know what an idiot I am, how I mess up all the time, how I say things I shouldn't say, how I struggle with this weakness or that?!?". Well, I don't know if this person realizes this or not - but I suspect they have an idea of what that's like, since they are a member of the household of faith as well.

Let's look at the list of expected conduct from these verses:

• Let your light shine
• good works
• no murmmering or disputing
• being blameless and harmless
• without rebuke

Shinging Light

Some years ago, I used to chat (online) with a lady named Carole. Carole had a rough life - her husband (who had left her) was highly abusive, and an unbeliever. She had a weight problem, that caused her numerous other health problems, and a young son whom she planned to homeschool when the time came. An idea that she had zero support for, from friends and family. Carole almost never complained, about anything - but instead used to sign off quite frequently with "AOG!" No, it doesn't mean Assemblies of God, it means attitude of gratitude. That was Carole's philosophy about life, and all that that means - good, bad, happy, scary, pain, joy, etc. She was convinced if she remained staunch in her attitude of gratitude to God, she would always find something, even the smallest thing, to thank God for in any situation, and that would keep her focus on praising Him, continually. Once in a while, Carole would privately share with me something she was struggling with, but most of the time before I had a chance to give her an encouraging word, she'd reply with something like "but you know what, even in all this, the Lord is still so good to me". She was consistant in letting the light of Christ in her, shine forth. She was a great blessing and encouragement to me, and a great example of letting your light shine before men.

I'm not like Carole. I jokingly call myself the eternal optimist, only because I often look for the silver lining in a dark cloud. The lesson in a trial, the blessings in hard times, etc. I said often, I didn't say every time. I can whine and snivel around with the best of them. Thankfully it doesn't last too long before I'm convicted of it. When we're giving into the flesh about a situation, and grumbling about it, we're not letting our light shine, we're letting our flesh take over - and God is never glorified in that.

Good Works

This is an incredibly diverse topic. I want to focus on the good works that come as a result of staying focused on the goodness of God - that allows us to let His light in us, shine forth. How does this work? I'd like to give a very exagerrated example.

The electric bill arrives. It's being delivered by a courier, in a large box. You open the box and look at the amount due (which was due last week). It's more than your net income for the last 6 years. You smile, and look at the courier and say "thank you young man, have a great day!".

Now most folks simply would not react this way. They'd snap, lose it, faint, yell, freak, whatever. Would this glorify the Lord? Would it be an example of the goodness of Christ working in our lives? Would anyone around us see the light of Christ in us, in that reaction?

NOPE

So now let's move to a more realistic example. Job loss, health problems, family issues. Any one of these could create an avalanche of additional barriers and struggles - and most of us have gone through one or more of them, some even at the same time. How do we react? That's the ultimate question. I know my answer, and it's not always the right answer. I am humbled however to report that more often now, than 10 years ago, I am able to react to such things with the same kind of 'aog' that Carole used to show forth - and have seen the result of that 'aog' in the attitude of the people around me. This is a huge blessing. When our good works are seen by others, God is glorified in that.

Murmurings and Disputings

This is an interesting word, murmuring. The Greek word is goggusmos, and the way it's pronounced sounds alot like what it is, a mumbling, sort of under your breath, an expression of displeasure. How many of us ever do this? I know I do. The word 'great' turns into a sarcastic, whispered expression that doesn't mean great at all, it means "this is awful, horrible and I hate it, and I'm making sure I say it in a rotten way to make this known". I have been incredibly convicted of this lately. My initial reaction to bad news - is quite often a bad reaction that nails the definition of this word, dead on. My Bible says, DON'T do this, and lists the reason why. I'll get to the reason after I tackle disputings.

This word means exactly what you think it means: hesitations, doubts, arguing, disputing. Now I do believe there is a time to question things - but the way we question things is just as important as knowing when to question.

I'll try to give a practical example that makes sense (I've been trying to teach this to my kids for the last 50 years, and I've only been a parent for 22 years).

If a Christian man is working for a non-Christian employer, and the employer directs the man to do something contrary to Christian conduct, such as lie on an office form, then there is an appropriate situation for the man to hesitate, so that he may question the direct order. If the man chooses his words carefully in this, he may even convince the employer why it would be a bad idea to carry out this order. He may not, and he may be reprimanded, or even fired, but it would be an acceptable form of disputing, if the man was expected to sin, if he went along with it.

If a parent asks the child to take the trash out, and the child responds with "I hate taking the trash out, I always have to take it out, can't someone else take it out this time" this child has just pegged the Biblical definition of disputing, as it's used in this verse. It used to be called backtalk, or sassing - it's all sin, no matter what it's called. It's arguing against a chore you've been given to do, simply because you don't want to do it. While parents reading this might easily recognize this attitude in kids, it's certainly not an attitude exclusive to kids. Us grown ups have it too - it's all part of still living in this fallen flesh, and something we have to constantly be mindful of, and guard against. The verse above says not to do this, and says why.

Blameless, Harmless, without Rebuke

If we avoid those 2 very common reactions - we are blameless, harmless (innocent of this conduct) and do not require rebuke for it. This is the place we want to be - this is the place I want to be. I do not want to be known for my mumbling displeasure under my breath, or arguing against something simply because I don't 'feel' like doing it. If we are known for these things, if people suspect that might be our reaction at any given time, is God being glorified? NOPE, He sure isn't.

This passage goes on to say that if we DON'T react this way, we will stand out as the sons of God, in a crooked and perverse nation. That we will shine as lights in this world.

This is where I want to be - shining as a light in this world, for the glory of God.

This is living our mission. It's not easy to do, and it doesn't happen light flipping on a switch. It requires due diligence in prayer, and seeking God's grace and wisdom in all situations - staying focused on Him, and His holy standard for us, at all times, in all circumstances.

I hesitate to add this last part, because I don't want it to be misunderstood. I have decided to add it anyway, because I believe it to be quite timely, and of the utmost importance.

Being Missional?

In our day and age, there are many professing believers that use this phrase. They speak of being authentic on their spiritual journey. I believe in being authentic, since the alternative is being deceptive. I agree that every Christian is on a spiritual journey, and our destinaton is far more glorious than we might dare to imagine.

When John presented this study last night and spoke about living our mission, I'm quite certain his definition of that, was not the same definition many give to "being missional". In many cases, men and women who use that phrase, also use the term "authentic" which means in some cases, cussing and swearing, holding to all sorts of liberal (or heretical as defined in Scripture) theological positions, immersing themselves in the things of the world (art, politics, environmental issues, literature, movies, music, etc.), under the guise of 'engaging the community for the kingdom of God'. In many cases as well, this spiritual journey includes the customs and practices of ungodly, pagan religions.

I believe it to be absolutely critical, that we resort to the written word on what defines living our mission, instead of relying on modern evangelical movements, and what they might have to offer. The Bible, being God's very word, shows us His high and holy standard, for our speech, conduct, worship, and relationships with believers and unbelievers.

When we mix our idea of living our mission, with the customs, language, and practices of the world, we're not letting the light of Christ shine through to the lost. The Bible is the only place we're going to find the standard to which we ought to be striving for daily.

I would encourage those caught up in this type of missional living, to diligently search the Scriptures and take this matter to earnest prayer.

This concludes part 2 of this study. I will make every effort to address part 3, tomorrow. Lord willing.

I hope this blesses someone today.

SOLI DEO GLORIA,
Carla

Reflecting again...

10 years ago today, I woke up to the reality of a memorial service for my husband. I knew the entire day would be focused on saying goodbye to a young father, husband and son. I was dreading the day unlike any other before, or since.

2 days prior, I found myself at the mall, shopping for a dress to wear to his memorial. The whole process of doing that seemed like the most trivial, stupid, unimportant errand I’d ever run. Problem was, I didn’t have a dress, let alone a black one, let alone a proper one, to wear to a funeral. It seemed practical to go buy one. And I hated every dress I saw. I fought back tears, standing there looking at dresses. It was the most surreal experience. I finally found one after just a few minutes in one store, and I was thankful it didn’t take long. I tried it on and thought “I will never wear this again”. I never have. It’s still hanging in my closet, on the same hanger I put it on, the evening of August 19th, 1995.

I managed to get the girls dressed, and we piled into the van and headed to the church. When I pulled into the parking lot, there was no place to park. It was packed – moreso than on any Sunday. Someone moved their car when they saw me, and we parked and got out. I remember walking through the parking lot as if I were walking in slow motion, through thick mud. Every step hurt, and the closer I got to the side doors of the church, the less I wanted to be there.

When we entered, the first thing I noticed was the literal sea of people. I started to cry at that point, when it hit me just how much Ben was loved, by so many. The next thing I noticed, was the different classes of people. There were only 2 classes really. It was a vision of The Headbanger’s Ball meets Conservative Christian Church-Folk.

Ben and I were both saved a year before he died. Our friends at the time were extreme opposites of each other. Black leather clad, die-hard metal heads, and staunch, Bible believing brothers and sisters. Metallica meets Mullins (Rich).

Almost every one of our metal-head friends, came to his memorial – and the ones that didn’t, came over to the house, afterward. The mix of hardcore thrasher-folk, and suit & tie Christian folk in my backyard that day, was a sight to behold.

Crystal Lewis sang Precious Lord. On tape, she wasn’t actually there. Not a dry eye in the church. I’ve never been able to listen to that song since. The choir sang Step By Step (by Rich Mullins), Ben’s favorite praise song at the time. When they began, Jessica (just turned 5) yelled out “that’s MY daddy’s best song!”. Which brought more tears, from everyone.

I don’t remember most of the service. I do remember holding Jessica as she sobbed. Holding Caryn and Jennifer’s hands, off and on, and the stark look on their faces. Seeing Ben’s cousin Erica lose it when she saw his portrait on the pulpit side table. Seeing my brother, Ben’s sister Nycole, and hugging my mom outside the front door of the church. I remember saying to mom “this isn’t normal, it’s not supposed to be like this”.

Later that day, after everyone left my house, my friend Marlyne took the girls to her house to stay for a couple of days. We made a big deal out of it like it was a special camp-out/sleep-over, and Marlyne really made the visit a nice one, to try to get their minds off of the present circumstances.

My buddy Mike, whom Ben and I had been friends with since we were young, obnoxious teenagers, was the only one who stayed, after everyone left. The house, and the yard, was a mess. Styro-fome coffee cups everywhere, paper plates, napkins, etc. I started to clean up and Mike said “get out, I’m cleaning, you’re sitting”. So I sat.

Mike cleaned, and set up a system in the kitchen for the dishes of food that people brought. TONS of food. I don’t think I went grocery shopping for a month afterward. Mike’s system was “keep – or – dump”. Most all of it I kept, and what didn’t fit in the kitchen fridge went in the spare fridge I had in the laundry room. I wish I still had that spare fridge.

One dish of food, was memorable. It looked bad, smelled bad, and after Mike tasted it (no way I was touching it) the look on his face said “DUMP”. We joked about what was in it, and Mike being the card that he is, got me to laughing about it. It was the only time I smiled, or laughed that day. I needed it.

Mike cleaned every inch of my house, and the yard. Washed the dishes, made a fresh pot of coffee,swept and vaccumed, then sat with me until I fell asleep, after crying a lot, and going down memory lane with him about Ben. Ben and I met when I was 15, and he was 18, and Mike had met him the summer before that. We had tons of memories between us, 15 years later.

That was what I was doing 10 years ago today. August 19th.

It was a beautiful, sunny, summer day. Today it’s cool, cloudy, and stormy. Today I’ll attempt with one hand, to install screen door hinges, make a loaf of bread in my breadmaker, plan Jordan, Rachel and Samuel’s first week of school lessons, and still wonder, if Ben knows how long he’s been in Heaven.

And thank the Lord for a new life, new beginnings, and Kev.

SDG,
me

Our Mission pt.1

Last night I directed your attention to a live, audio Bible study on inSpeak.com. To my knowledge, none of you came to the study. I knew all the people there, that how I knew you weren't there. It's a shame really, you missed an incredible study.

Last night's study was led by pastor John Lane of Cheney Baptist Church. Pastor John is also the man behind the curtain at Piper McClure.

Maybe last night's study was only incredible to me, because it spoke directly to some issues I'm dealing with right now at this point of my crossroads.

I'd like to share the outline of the study and my thoughts on a few of the points that were made. My thoughts may not exactly reflect John's intention for this study, so I don't want anyone to think I'm speaking for him on this. This is just what I got out of the study. It was my intention to cover the whole study in one blog entry, but that's not possible for a couple of reasons. 1. my arm still hurts and 2. there's just too much to cover in the time I have this morning. So, I will break this up and cover this in 3 seperate entries. This is part 1. I will make an effort to cover part (point) 2 and 3, later on today.

The topic was Our Mission: opening text was Col 4:2-6

• Point #1 Ask God (prayer)... 1 Thes 5:25, 2 Thes 3:1, Eph 6:18-19
• Point #2 Live it... Matt 5:16, Phil 2:14-15
• Point #3 Tell it... Mark 16:15, Rom 10:13-15

From the very opening text, I was a captive listener.

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving; Withal praying also for us, that God would open unto us a door of utterance, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in bonds: That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Questions that I had to ask myself as this text was read:

1. Do I regularly pray that God will open doors for me to speak about Jesus to people, who do not know Him?
2. Do I walk in wisdom?
3. Do I make proper use of my time?
4. Is my speech, at all times, with grace, seasoned with salt, that my answers are God glorifying?

My answers are as follows:

1. No, not always.
2. No, not always.
3. No, not always.
4. No, not always.

Clearly this was a message I needed to hear, and needed to hear right now.

Point #1 was asking God, in prayer, to direct me (us) into profitable situations where God may be glorified and Christ proclaimed.

1Thes. 5:25 Brethren, pray for us. (praying for each other)

I have a short story to tell about praying for others. As you know my arm is injured. The other night, I was in considerable pain and could not get comfortable enough to sleep. Kev was asleep already, and so in tears, I came to the pc to logon and see if any of my friends were on, to ask for prayer, and suggestions. My friend Michael was on, and I pm'd him immediately. He suggested instead of praying for myself, to busy myself with praying for others. As completely self-centered as I wanted to be at that point, I knew this was the right suggestion. So I logged off, settled back into the recliner (I couldn't lay in my bed, it hurt 10 times as much) and began to think of all the people I know - friends, family, aquaintances, etc. - and their needs. From salvation to healing, and everything in between. My arm still hurt like crazy but I asked the Lord to let me forget it, and help me focus on these people and their needs. I didn't even get to finish praying, the next thing I knew it was morning. I'd fallen asleep through the pain, and slept all night. This was a great blessing for me, to be able to step outside of me, and go into a place of bringing the needs of others before the Lord. I don't think I do this often enough, and was pre-occupied even the next day with thoughts of others, and their needs. Not only did this change my thinking, but the next day my arm was considerably better, and the constant, extreme pain, was gone. It's still painful, but not like it was that night - and has improved a little more each day, since then. Is this the Lord being faithful to bless me, because I set aside my own concerns and pray for others? I don't know that I want to say that - but I suppose it could be. I'm more concerned about doing what pleases Him, in any case. This is a case where prayer, for others, lead to a profitable situation where God was indeed glorified.

2Thes. 3:1 Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may have free course, and be glorified, even as it is with you.

Do we do this on a regular basis? Do I do it? Do we think of this aspect of evangelization on a regular basis? I can only answer for myself and say that no, I don't always consider the word of the Lord not having free course.

I'm a 40 year old North American mom who's never been on a mission field or even outside north America. I've heard all the stories everyone else has about oppression and persecution, but I don't live it, I don't see it, and so I don't always remember that in most places around the world, the gospel cannot be freely declared, like it can be here in north America. Geographical mission fields aside, there are socialogical mission fields to consider, right here in our own families, workplaces, schools and communities. Wives with unsaved husbands, employees who work with unsaved co-workers, college campuses, highschools, day care workers, the bagger at the grocery store... the list is almost endless. In so many cases, and in so many different ways, for different reasons, the gospel simply does not have free course. Am I regularly praying that God might remove hindrances, barriers, and open closed ears, to the gospel?

Ephesians 6:18-19
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel

Lately, I've noticed (and I'm not the only one picking up on this) that the Christian community on the Internet (blogs, chats, forums, email) has almost become frenzied in roasting one another. Now this is not to say that we aren't to call false teaching for what it is, but it IS to say that there's a Biblical standard for doing such things - and IF the teacher is indeed a brother or sister in Christ, our main objective should certainly be centered around restoring them to a proper understanding of doctrine - not chewing them up verbally, and spitting them out on the sidewalk. Some have recently accused me of doing this very thing. Others have defended me and said "no, I don't see you doing that". In my opinion, I have come VERY close to doing it, and may have even stepped over the line, at times. I don't want to be guilty of stepping over that line. I don't want to be guilty of the same over-correction errors I see in other modern movements - being so concerned with this or that or the other, that in my zeal I abandon Biblically mandated speech and conduct. It's very easy to go there.

Instead, it's my desire that His words may be given to me (not my use of my own words - there is a difference), that in all assurance and confidence that I do speak His word, and not my own - that He may be glorified. James 1:5 says

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

While I believe that with all my being, I don't always follow the proper steps to gaining wisdom. It's a simple 1 process step, really. Ask God. Pray, and bare your needs to Him, and seek His wisdom - for whatever issue it is you're dealing with. False doctrine, health issues, financial difficulty, parenting issues - it doesn't matter what it is. Some might say this sounds like a pat answer, but it couldn't be more clear from the Scripture, how we attain wisdom. James tells us that for those who ask, God gives, and gives liberally (simply, openly, frankly, sincerely), and does not turn us away.

If we were to pray, seeking God's wisdom on a thing, no matter what the "thing", God is faithful to give His words to speak, His wisdom, and humble confidence and assurance that the very words we deliver, are straight from Him. Surely this will glorify Him, and edify those we speak to - in person, or on the Internet via text, like this.

This concludes my thoughts on point #1 "Ask God". I'll do my best to address points 2 (Live It) and 3 (Tell It) later today.

I hope this blessed someone today.
SDG,
Carla

August 18, 2005

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

As you can see, I've been fooling around with my blog template again. The background picture is the water in Lake Erie - the butterfly was in my living room window last week. I'm not sure I like the hard, contrasting colors - so it may change again soon.

More changes:

I'm fed up with controversy, and I'm divided on what to do about it. I'm one of those people who simply cannot sit quietly by, when someone is being wronged, or when something IS wrong. The problem is, because sound Biblical teaching is my passion, and there is such an amazing overload of garbage out there masquerading as Christianity, the topics to address are almost endless. So here's my plan, more or less...

My Emergent No blog will pretty much switch to resources only. There are two other contributors there - and if they want to carry on a conversation with pro-ec folks - more power to 'em, I'm tired of it. I've made it as clear as I could possibly make it, where I stand on all this, and where I believe the Bible contradicts so much of what's coming out of this movement. There are tons of resources out there now, that simply were not there when I started that blog - and that's a good thing. If folks have questions, I'll be happy to answer those via email, but I'm done playing the "engage in dialogue" game with people who simply wish to argue their cause.

Beyond that change, I'm going to be working more on my books, my store, and gearing up for back to school. This doesn't necesarrily mean I wont be blogging as much, but it does mean I will be blogging about different things - by His grace - with a more upbeat tone, to edify my readers.

I reserve the right to deviate from time to time and vent about something that irks me, but other than that, I'd like to see this blog (and the blogosphere in general) make a deliberate effort to start building up, rather than picking apart, simply for the sake of picking. There's just too much picking, and it's worn me out. Not that I've been picking for the sake of picking, but I think you get my general drift. I can't do a thing about the blogosphere, but I can sure do something about this blog.

One thing blogging does, is keep folks accountable, in a way. I guess it only works if the blogger actually takes into account the fact that LOTS of people might be reading, that you never even knew about. I don't get the amount of comments that some blogs get, but I do check the stats from time to time, and I know there are over an average 340 page views per day at this blog. That's alot of people looking for something. That's a humbling thing, for me. You're not commenting, but I know you're reading, and that's a pretty incredible thing. I'm not sure why you're reading - I dont find myself all that captivating really, but you're reading all the same - and I'm going to switch gears here, for the better.

I had alot more to say, but I'll leave it at that. And for those of you who are praying - my shoulder is a LITTLE better each day, more range of motion, less pain, and more getting back to normal, a little bit at a time. Thank you for praying for me, I sure appreciate it.

SDG,
Carla The 1.2 Armed Blogger

OH - major ps, and this is good, don't miss this:

Go to www.inspeak.com, and download it. Install it, then login, and go to the CHRISTIANITY section, and look for the room called God's Grace is Sufficient. There's a live audio Bible study there tonight at 9:30 eastern time (you have 1 hour from now!), Lord willing, audio-server willing. My nick there is Christ Alone, so add me to your contact list and say hello.

Raising a low standard?

Okay, I'm really frustrated. Lots of reasons, but I suppose the primary reason is my arm, and the fact it's basically hanging there, not allowing me to do my job as mother/cook/laundress/errand-runner/writer/photographer/etcetera'r. It's hard to adjust to this, and I'm getting annoyed with it.

Something even more important than my petty sniveling about my arm, is the fact that I dont think I've lived up to my own standard that I hoped to set for myself recently. I'd link to it but it's so hard to reach for the mouse and do all that highlighting/pasting/etc., that I wont even bother.

That standard I refer to is writing about things that edify. Recently what I've written about doesn't seem edifying at all, but more tearing down. Yes it's important that we know what people teach and believe, and yes it's important these things be made public for the benefit of others, but I'm honestly sick of writing about them.

I'm sick of hearing about the emergent church, and sick of the nasty junk that has come along as a result of people being "authentic". I'm sick of being sick of stuff. I'm sick of false teachers, BAD teachers, ecumenicism, universalism, open theism, knuckleheadism and fluffyism. I'm frustrated that these things keep falling in my lap. I don't want to write about them - I don't want to deal with them, and honestly, I don't want to even hear about them.

But there they are, all the same. Daily in email, daily in chat, daily on forums, blogs, comments, and inserts in my local paper. Everywhere I read, there they are. It brings me down and likely brings you down too.

I was reading something Dan Edelen posted at Cerulean Sanctum and it just SO convicted me, it's hard to hold back tears right now. If I start crying, Kev will ask why, then I'll only cry more and I don't wanna go there right now.

Over the last couple of weeks Dan's posted a couple of really good entries on Christian conduct in the blogosphere. Even before I read what Dan wrote, I said tonight to a friend that I believe with all my heart it's vital that we be Bereans with those that we set up for ourselves as teachers (pastors, authors, lecture speakers, whatever) because if we do NOT do this, we run the very real risk of endorsing someone who could likely be teaching some wacked out thing, that we're not even aware of. If we find ourselves in this position, we find ourselves in the position of working our way out of circumstances that truly do sully our witness. Which brings me to what Dan has said recently about conduct.

I don't know Dan well at all, but I know I agree with alot of what he writes on this topic. I know it's convicted me to re-examine that standard I set for myself some time ago in the not too recent past, and I pray it might compel me to reconsider how, what, and who I write about when I sit down here to share my thoughts - tonight - tomorrow - the next day - and so on and so forth.

So my hat is off to the guy with the funny sounding blog name. I think it means Red House, or something like that in Latin. Not sure, don't care, it's the content that touched me, and that's what matters.

So I'll sign off now, dragging my throbbing arm behind me, to think more on this very important topic.

SDG,
me

(I didn't proofread or spellcheck - it's too much work and I'm in too much pain - so excuse any goof ups please)

UPDATE this morning: my arm doesn't hurt as much so I went ahead and added Dan's blog link. I still have no idea what his blog title means, but last night I had a dream that it meant blue peace - so there ya go.

Penguins Rock

Here’s my newest design for Kid Gear! Aren’t they cute?


Birding Kids

I was informed last night that my 6 yr old, Rachel, has been seeing (for the last 3 days, including yesterday afternoon when she was in the pool) at the feeder, a bird that she describes as having a blue head, green wings, and a red body. She said she looked for him in the bird book and couldn't find him.

When she told me this, Kev and I looked at each other with that "get OUT!?" look on our faces. If Rachel is correct - this is what she's seeing at the feeder:


The get OUT expression would be due to the incredible rarity that it is to spot a Painted Bunting in southern Ontario.

I will of course, be on the prowl today.

August 17, 2005

You are... HERE


According to the sitemeter north American map (this is way too fun) this is the record of the last 100 visits to this blog. The white dots are 10+, the green dots are the last 10 visitors, and the red one is the current visitor - which is Pensacola (Hi Steph!).

Now how cool is this?

We didn't overlook this...

Did you notice the new 'email notice' over there on the sidebar? Well, I had to do that, for a few reasons. Over the last several months, I get alot of email. Some of it is from pretty well known Christians who read this blog and the Emergent No blog. Not that I have famous astronauts reading here, like Phil does, but some of the names are pretty well known. Not sure why they're reading this blog, but they are. Must be bored, I dunno.

In any event, well known or not-so-well-known, some of the email I get is just downright rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. And go figure, the authors ALWAYS include in those emails something to the tone of "and please, this is a private email, not for public discussion". To that I say "pfffft". I don't play that game. It's called being two-faced, and if you're going to email me a rotten message, be prepared to see it posted publicly, WITH your name and email address attached. If this isn't enough to help people stay stay accountable before God, in their private correspondence, I don't know what would be...

Now that we have that out of the way, let's talk about the providence of God. As my regular readers know, our family lives in a 120+ year old brick and fieldstone farmhouse. Houses this old, are generally not self-sustaining, and eventually, things fall apart, fall off, disintigrate at the slightest touch, and need some regular TLC. Add to that, a family with 6 kids moving in and you've got a real dilema on your hands.

The prior owner, John, had lived here alone for many years, as his kids are mine and Kev's age, and they'd grown up and moved out a long time ago. His wife had been in a nursing home for many years, so it was just John, and his dog. Whom by the way, used the dining room carpet for a handy potty-place. The dog, I meant... not John. Anyway I'm assuming it was the dog?

So in all those years, with just one person living here, the little things around the house didn't get much use. Certain rooms were hardly ever used, so the light fixtures and doorknobs sat untouched for a good portion of the time.

And then along came the Rolfe Family - 2 parents and 6 kids = 16 hands on. After our oldest moved out and Ruth was born, then our second oldest moved out and our youngest turned into a super-duper-hands-on toddler, which is like 4 people all at once.

So things began to be used, and abused. Door handles, light fixtures, toilet handles, window screens, etc. Some of the door handles in this house, are not even made anymore. Many custom made doors (solid wood, not like the hollow doors you find these days) have custom made door handles, and buying a replacement just doesn't work. They don't sell replacements at the local hardware store.

A few months ago I slipped a note in with the rent check, and told the new owner that there were some things that needed attention. I listed all the things that were broken, or falling apart, and asked if he could get to it asap. He's a busy guy (owns 5 local farms) so he doesn't get to things real quick. But he stopped by the other day and said he would have his mom swing buy and do a walk thru in the house, and make a full list - and he'd get on it asap.

So she came buy the next day, and did a walk thru. We chatted for a bit and she left, saying she'd get the list to her son that day. Well, instead of doing that, she said, knowing how busy he was, she just went shopping. Not only did she get nearly everything on the list, she also brought back one of those automated aerosol dispensers we've been wanting so bad, but can't justify the expense for. Not only did she bring the dispenser, but the fly spray for it, AND batteries. Now how cool is that??

I installed it immediately (the last thing I did before my shoulder went completely wonky) and voila, it WORKS like a dream. As long as the kids keep the doors to the kitchen closed (which is like... not a reality), there are NO flies in the kitchen. For those of you that do not live on a farm, or have indoor fly issues, this is likely not that big of a deal. For those of you who deny seeing The Amityville Horror, a few years back - picture the sewing room scene with the flies on the window. No, I'm not making this up, it was, that bad.

So not only do we now have the fly problem under control, all the kids have brand new ceiling fans (with lights) for their rooms (not yet installed), brand new hinges for all the screen doors (not yet installed - I'm going to attempt that today), brand new toilet handles (installed the same day) and a few other things. None of which we could swing right now, the budget being what it is.

We were very grateful and we wanted the kids to understand the practical working of the providence of God in all of that, so on Sunday, since we stayed home from church, Kev prepared and preached a message of the providence of God, from the living room pulpit. It was a very good message. After the message we all sang How Great Thou Art. It was a good Sunday service, even if I was in my pj's favoring my arm, in the recliner.

SDG,
me

August 16, 2005

Life, as I know it...

... has been so drastically altered. I wish I could say I'm adapting well, but that would be a big, fat lie. I'm not into big fat lies.

I've had to modify my keyboard & mousepad set up just to type this. The normal set up has proven to be totally impossible for me to use, without much (read: excruciating) pain. NO, I'm not whining, just telling it like it is.

I have so much on my mind and not enough strength to write about it all, so I don't even know where to start this morning, which is also something I'm not used to. See, I have a routine, just like everyone else. My early mornings and late nights are reserved for writing - either here, or on other projects - but I haven't been able to do that since Friday. I like things decently and in order. This interruption of my routine is not decent, nor is it in order. Okay, now I'm whining.

I told Kev last night (while trying to skim the mowed grass out of the pond, with one arm slinged and one arm useful) "I don't have time to be out of commission like this, I have too many kids to take care of, too much work to do around the house, and school starts in a few weeks and I can't even write anything or plan lessons or NOTHIN!" He just smiled and said "I know, I know". I'll have to figure out a way to get the lessons planned without writing. Maybe I'll get everything out, and have Jessica write down on the schedules, which page numbers for which days, in each subject. Might be a good lesson for her, to learn how much goes into the preparation end of things, for study lessons for 4 different age/grade levels.

Due to the pain I have, I'm taking pain medication. It's very strong (picture Foster Brooks) so I only take it at night, so I can sleep. Last night I took one pill, and sat down here at the pc and logged into voice chat - so I could at least listen in, even though I wasn't planning on participating.

I went into my friend Craig's room, and the person on the mic was the person I mentioned the other day who contends Christians can be universalists. He was there defending his position on that. I came in at the end of his speech, but I did catch him say a few things that really made me think.

One thing he said was that those are holding to universalism, but also holding to "the essentials" of the faith, are the ones he contends are genuine Christians. This got me to thinking "what are the essentials?" Everyone I've ever read, or talked to, has a different list. Not only a different list but varying definitions of the phrase itself. Some people mean "what do you have to believe prior to conversion, to get saved?" and other people mean "what do you need to affirm after conversion to prove that you are holding to Biblical Christianity?".

Well, what this person meant by the essentials was his list of what a person must believe in order to be saved:

They are 1) the Deity of Christ, 2) Salvation by Grace, and 3) Resurrection of
Christ, and the gospel (source)

As I read through the subsection on the deity of Christ, and what one must believe in order to be saved, according to this list, what stands out to me is the nature of who Christ is - both God, and man. I agree that to be regenerated one must certainly believe that He is God - but what does that entail?

Well, for me, that entails believing every word of Scripture that speaks to the how, and why, of the atonement, justification, eternal life & eternal condemnation.

Look at this verse:

Ps 138:2 I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.

And this one:

Mt 24:35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.


Condemnation, for example?

Joh 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Joh 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

Mr 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

We all know there are many, many more verses of Scripture that speak of eternal condemnation for those who die in unbelief.

To me it is very clear that those who die in their sin and die unbelievers, are condemned - they are damned, eternally. So if you must believe in the deity of Christ, then you must also believe His very word where it says there is in fact condemnation for unbelievers.

So to simply connect the dots. If belief in the deity of Christ is essential for salvation, and His very word that He Himself exalts above His name, teaches that there is in fact eternal condemnation, eternal seperation from Him for those who die in unbelief, and you're a universalist who believes ALL human beings will be reconciled to God, you do not believe in the deity of Christ at all, and you call Him a liar.

For those who say there is post-mortem evangelization, and the dead unbeliever is presented the gospel AFTER death, and then believes - I can't even address that except to say that teaching is nowhere to be found in Scripture. It's an invention of man, to please the ears.

So the very first on the list of essentials is obliterated by those who claim it, yet claim universal salvation.

I maintain my view that you cannot be a universalist, and be a genuine follower of Christ.

Now, because I was on some pretty heavy medication last night, I was fairly certain I misunderstood the next comment this person made. In his attempts to explain how many new believers hold to various erroneous teachings, and are still saved, he shared a little of his own testimony. He said, or so I thought he said, that he was saved for a full two years, before he ever knew that Jesus actually rose from the dead.

This is what I heard from his microphone, and I was sure I heard wrong. So I typed in the room "what??" and then private messaged a few people to ask "did I just hear what I thought I heard?". Everyone else heard the same thing.

So I asked, how can a man be saved and not know or believe, Jesus rose from the dead? Pastor Joey answered with this:

Ro 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

So I'm confused. Can you confess Christ without believing or even knowing that He rose from the grave, and still be a Christian? If you do, what exactly is it, that you're confessing? If you claim you don't know He rose from the dead, you certainly can't believe that He did, so what do we do with the above verse that says we must believe in our heart, that He did? If you don't believe in your heart, that He did, are you saved??

Here's more confusion. The same person that said he didn't even know Christ rose from the dead, for a full 2 years AFTER he was saved, and he KNOWS he was saved, says this on his page of essential doctrines that one MUST believe, in order to be saved:


The Resurrection of Christ "And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith" (John 2:19-21), then your faith is useless. (source)

So is there a credible difference between being ignorant of His resurrection, and being knowledgable of it, and flat out denying it?

As you can see, I have alot of questions. Alot of what I read and hear via the net, is unbelievably inconsistant, with what I know the Scriptures to teach.

This entry is not to pick on Matt Slick, and if he'd like to respond here in the comment section to explain these things, that would be fine. I'm sure it would help clear things up. I don't like inconsistancies, or even perceived ones. I like decently and in order, and this doesn't fall into either category for me.

I wasn't even going to write about that this morning - I wanted to share with you the amazing providential hand of God on our family this past weekend. Maybe I'll get to that later on today, if my shoulder holds out. Oh and I finally did get another fairly decent shot of the female hummer:

(click to see full size)

August 15, 2005

challies giveaway

Tim's giving stuff away again. Click the graphic over yonder in the banner so you can enter, and so I have more chances to win! We all know how badly you want me to win, right?

elusive hummer...

... and she returns, again and again. Each time, teasing the gimp-armed photographer, sticking her tongue out and saying "you can't catch me, you big ugly human!"

I still don't have THE hummer shot, but here she is again (banner) and again:
zoom in and look at her wee wittle feetsies!

Monday Meanderings

For those who are wondering:

Yes, I'm still in a considerable amount of pain with my shoulder.
Yes, my arm is in a sling & shoulder immobilized.
Yes, medication is helping some. (blistering hot baths help more)
No, I have not been to the doc, I know what it is, I've had it before.

In about a week it'll hurt a bit less. Eventually it will be back to normal, Lord willing.

It's real hard to type this way, even worse to use a mouse (it's the right shoulder and I'm right handed) and nearly impossible to use my camera, which is rather upsetting. I can't bring the camera right up to my face, so I have to contort quite a bit and wince through some pain, to get a good shot.

Yes, I'm a freak, but look what freaks can do at 7:20 am:

Now you have to click on that to see the details. Look at her wings. Is that not amazing!? This is the female, ruby throated hummer - her husband is much prettier - luminescent green with a brilliant red spot on his throat. He's not at the feeder nearly as much as she is.

I have so much to write about, but this hurts. Here's your challenge today:

Whatever hand you use, try a simple task today (getting dressed, making a sandwich, pouring coffee) and use the other hand. Only use the opposite hand, and keep your other hand straight down to your side at all times, during your task. Pretend a flaming sharp arrow will pierce your shoulder if you use your other hand.

It's alot harder than it seems.

Coming ASAP - an incredible true story of the providence of God that unfolded right in our mud room. (for those who have no idea what that is, it's the inside porch where muddy boots come off, and house shoes go on before entering the main part of the house - we call it the green porch, but it's a mud room).

God is so good to His people.

SDG...

August 14, 2005

Top Secret Project REVEALED!

Due to my recent shoulder injury and difficulty with sitting and typing, I’m making this announcement a day early:

Well, here it is, I’m revealing the super-duper top secret project I’ve been working on. Here’s a little hint: look to the left sidebar at the new graphic.

This project, is my brand new department at Scripscenes:

Kid Gear!

We have over 100 new products, with 7 new lines! From funky to floral, fun to fantasy – all the designs in Kid Gear! were created by myself and my daughter Jessica, just for kids. Some are actual photographs taken by me, and digitally altered. Others are colored pencil drawings, or computer generated graphics. It’s been a lot of work, and a lot of fun, creating this new line, just for kids. (And there’s MORE to come! Be sure to bookmark this store, I’m having a blast creating these lines).

Hoodies, posters, mugs, clocks, t-shirts, blank journals, and more – all on sale for the grand opening of the store, and just in time for back to school!

So tell your friends, tell your kids, tell a few strangers! This sale will run through September 5th.

And remember, every purchase through this shop (or any of our other shops at Scripscenes) goes toward the support of Christian homeschooling!

Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter from the main Scripscenes page (left sidebar). This way, the next time we have a sale (which is coming soon!) you’ll be notified via email, and you can take advantage of our lower prices!

Happy Shopping!

PS – I’ve included a handy pdf flyer for you to download to share with friends & family, offline. Right click, choose “save target as” here.

August 13, 2005

gone for a while

Well, I don't know how I did it, but I did it. Wasted my right shoulder just like I wasted my left one almost 2 years ago. It's been sore for a few days now, and as of this afternoon, I can't hardly move my arm without massive pain shooting from the shoulder joint-area. So I did what the ER did 2 years ago - put it in a sling to immobilize it. It's not really helping.

Last time, Kev had to leave work early to take me to the ER, since the pain was all-consuming. They did x-rays (while I screamed and nearly passed out from the pain) and came back with "calcified shoulder". They gave me a shot for the pain, then a perscription for pill version of the same stuff. Slinged my arm and said "it'll get better in a few weeks". I slept in a recliner for the next few months. The excruciating pain went away after a few days, but it was only a few months ago it started to feel normal again.

I have a sinking feeling I'll be back in ER tomorrow. I'm a big wimp, and cannot tolerate pain well - I'm dreading this.

Typing hurts, so I won't be back until the pain is gone. Please pray for me.

SDG,
me

I'm going to make you think...

I'm about to open up a can of worms, stir up a hornet's nest, cause some waves... call it what you will. I've hesitated writing this for this reason, but I can't just let it go, for a couple of reasons.

First, what I'm going to write about, is a two-fold issue.

1. Sound doctrine
2. Responsibility of well known evangelists/apologists/authors/speakers

My reasons for writing on this are:

1. because I hate bad doctrine
2. accountability issues

Now that I have that out of the way, let's begin.

The way this came to my attention recently, was from a conversation I had with a friend on PalTalk. This friend is Denise, aka Surphing, from SurphSide. Denise was recently involved in a conversation regarding a fairly well-known Christian, who supports the idea that Christians can be universalists, and still be Christians. She posted this person's own writings into the chat room, and she contended that no, you cannot hold to such a view about the atonement, justification, the wrath of God and still be a follower of Christ. Her argument was that universalism denies the very heart of the gospel (saved from what?) and therefore in effect denies Christ. She was met with many who disagreed with her, and agreed with the well-known Christian, that yes, one can be truly regenerated and hold to the universalist teachings that all will be reconciled to God.

Now, I'm no expert on universalism, but in a very small nutshell they believe that all human beings will eventually be saved.
No eternal condemnation for anyone.
No hell.
No wrath.

I realize how small of a definition this is, but at the end of the day, this is what universalists believe.

I brought this topic up last night in #prosapologian, and quoted the same writing that Denise did, but the response was much different. Here is the statement:

Can a Christian be a universalist? The answer to this question is very easy. Yes. A Christian can be a universalist. Universalism in itself does not make a person a non-Christian. Universalism is the teaching that all people eventually will be reconciled to God. This is not one of the doctrines taught in scripture as a requirement for salvation.
The essential doctrines of Christianity have been debated for centuries. These doctrines include the physical resurrection of Jesus, salvation by grace, and that Jesus is God in flesh. With the last, many conclude that the doctrine of the Trinity is also essential. Though the doctrine of the Trinity is not explicitly stated as a requirement in God's word, it is logical to conclude that the true believer will accept the Trinity teaching. The Trinity, then, becomes a test to see if someone is in faith. However, I will admit that God casts his net further then we do and I do not believe that God will condemn all people for their lack of the proper understanding of the Trinity doctrine. On the other hand, I believe that those who openly reject it are not of God.
There are many doctrines that are not essential to salvation and it is these that lead us into the differences of denominational beliefs. Where one group believes that baptism must be by immersion, another teaches that sprinkling is acceptable. One denomination says that the charismatic spiritual gifts have ceased, yet another that they continue. These types of the differences, and many others, do not affect whether or not a person is saved.
They are merely differences of opinion on the non-essentials. In this, the Scriptures give us a great deal of leeway. See Romans 14.
A Christian can be a universalist, but not all universalists are Christian. It is not whether you accept or deny universalism that makes you a true believer. Rather, it is faith in and acceptance of the true and living God and Savior, Jesus. We have agreement in the essential doctrines that unite all Christians and all denominations under one true God and we are allowed to have differences of opinions. (source)


The response I received last night in #pros, was unanimously NO, you cannot be a regenerated individual, and flat out deny the wrath of God. Just to mention one verse, Christ said in John 3:18 that unbelievers are condemned already. It's interesting to note that the word used there for condemned, is the Greek word krino. This word is used in 98 verses in the NT and here are just some of the ways it's used:

• judged
• determined
• damned

It would appear very very clear here, that Jesus taught unbelievers were/are condemned, judged, decreed, damned. Not only from this one verse in the gospel of John, but this teaching is found from Genesis all the way through Revelation - this teaching of the gospel message is (I believe) central to the foundation of true Christianity.

Some questions/statements that came up last night

If there is no hell, no wrath, and no eternal condemnation, what does a person who holds to universalism, really think of their own sin, and the very nature of justification?


If a person holds to salvation for all men, all human beings, that person effectively calls Jesus a liar, and it would make no sense to follow someone who has lied.


Conversion doesn't equate to immediate sound doctrine.


I'll address this last one, because it's something I've spent alot of time on, personally. While I do agree that one can hold to numerous erroneous teachings immediately after conversion - and that maturity in Christ is something that takes time, personal study, and diligence in the Christian life - this particular teaching obliterates so much of what Christ Himself taught us.

If a person holds to this view because they've searched the Scriptures and come to this conclusion, I cannot see how they could be regenerated. The very heart of universalism contradicts the very heart of the gospel - and God's Holy Spirit does not lead us into confusion or contradiction, but into clarity and wisdom, as He grows us up in Christ.

On the other hand, if a person holds to this view because it's a tradition (of their church) then it stands to reason that it's not a deeply held conviction, or teaching they have come to as a result of earnest study. In this case it would be entirely possible for a truly regenerated person to still hang onto this teaching, for a time. Growing in grace would eventually cause this teaching to be exposed for the false doctrine that it is, and this person would at some point, deny it.

Now I don't want this to sound like I'm sitting in judgement of who is saved and who isn't - although I know it might sound like that's what I'm doing. What I'm really doing is getting my own thoughts out on what truly falls within what is called the pale of orthodoxy, and what can never be accepted as "varying opinion" or unimportant to the essentials of the faith. In my own "varying opinion" there are clear lines set in Scripture on these issues, and I think it's vital that we not only know what these lines are, but have an explanation for that, if/when asked.

The second reason I'm writing this - is not to pick on Matt Slick, the author of the above statement, but to ask about (in a general way) our accountability toward those who are sitting under our teachings? I believe Slick is wrong about this, and clearly so do many others. But this isn't about Slick per se, it's more about the influence Christian "teachers" have, on the internet.

If I was a universalist, and I read that statement above, without reading anything else the critics have to say about universalism, I might (might) be inclined to hold onto my doctrine of universal salvation. It's just not black and white ENOUGH for me. I need black and white. I need either "this is truth and this is not" or "this is Biblical and this is not".

I might read that statement as being written by a person of some authority in Christendom, a person with some level of respect from others, and teaching credentials, and come away thinking "this person said YES, I can be a Christian and still hold to universalism".

I find this a doctrinally dangerous situation. At least one other chatter in #pros last night was somewhat shocked to see this statement, and found it also to be an erroneous position.

So I'd like some feedback on this. Feedback on the specific issues.

1. Can a Christian be a universalist, and really be a Christian?
2. How important is it that "teachers" on the internet be held accountable by other believers for what they teach?

I look forward to your insights on these 2 issues.

The Apple



Look at this, very closely. It's a very special apple. The things this apple represents, are things we can all understand.

It represents love, innocence, fond memories, hope, and comfort.

Now how in the world does an apple represent all of those things?

Well, it's simple really. There is a story behind this apple. Not this specific apple, but the kind of apple it is. Some call it a transparent - I have no idea what it's really called.

Now for the story:

Once upon a time there was an apple tree. Every summer, this apple tree was simply loaded with the most deliciously unusual tasting apples, the children had ever tasted. You couldn't find them in the store, and they knew of no other family who had this kind of tree. In their little world, there was only 1 apple tree like this, and it was in grandma and grandpa's back yard.

The back yard was filled with an abundance of color, and fragrance. Lilacs, roses, carnations, apples, plums, cherries and strawberries. It was a potpourri of scents and tastes, that was just a delight to be around.

The apples on this particular tree, were just the best in the world. They were great right off the tree, and just as delicious in grandma's apple pie, or apple crisp, or applesauce. The tree had so many apples, grandma would often give the children's mother a large bag of apples to take home.

The children grew and didn't come around to grandma and grandpa's house as often. The apples would ripen, and grandma would collect a few and make wonderful desserts from time to time, but not as often as in years past. The majority of the apples would become overripe, fall off the tree, and settle in the grass, to rot away.

As time went on, the apple tree came to the end of it's life, and so did the grandpa. An era was over.

I know these things, because I was one of those children, and these were my grandparents. I miss that old apple tree, but I miss my grandpa even more. I've written about him here (his conversion testimony at 83 years old), here (how much he influenced the work ethic in me), and here (Father's Day traditions).

Back to the apple...

In 1999, Kev asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day. I said I wanted a dwarf fruit tree, just like grandpa had all over his back yard. He had more fruit trees than Smuckers has jam.

So off to the nursery we went, and I looked over the trees. I noticed one, that didn't look like a dwarf, but did look strangely familiar. I asked the nursery attendant what kind it was, and she said "transparent apple - pretty rare". I squealed and said "yes! I'll take it - oh wait - how much is it?". It was 15 dollars. That was the best 15 dollars anyone spent. This was THE apple tree!

I brought it home and planted it, and babied it like it was a newborn. It had a few blossoms that first year, but nothing else. The next year, we went on vacation out west for 3 weeks, and while we were gone, Ontario had a heat wave - the whole time. When we returned, my apple tree looked dead. I almost cried (okay fine, I cried). I babied it and watered it to the point I thought I was probably overdoing it, but sure enough, within a couple of weeks, the leaves began to stand at attention again, and by the end of the summer it was back to full health.

Over the last few years, it's had several apples each year (it's not very big) but this year it's produced the biggest, healthiest looking apples yet. The kids already picked the ones they could reach, and there are only 6 left.

You can't buy them in stores, and you wont find these trees just anywhere. They're very special apples, that as I said in the beginning represent love, innocence, fond memories, hope, and comfort. For me they always remind me of the days of being a child, grandma & grandpa's backyard, and the wonderful desserts grandma made with those apples.

It's my hope, Lord willing, me and my tree live long enough to create those same fond memories for my children. This is what childhood is made of.

August 12, 2005

Thinking about what others think about...

Did you know, that I'm a dangerous, unbalanced, hyper-calvinist? I'm sure to some of you, that's old news - but for the rest of you - please take a deep breath. Eat a donut, it'll help.

Why yes ma'am (or sir) it's true - according to the description of others (were it to be believed) that's what I am.

I'm a bunch of other stuff too, like intolerant, unengaging, closed-minded, fundamentalist, colonialistic (I really like the sound of that, I see myself living in a beautiful home in New England), unbiblical, overbearing and rude.

Of all of those descriptions, I really like the unbalanced colonialist, the best. Those two are my favorite. Oh yes, I can see it now:

Stunning, sprawling estate nestled in the old oaks and maples of New England, with kids toys in the yard and modern appliances in the kitchen. Woops, better add modernist to the list of labels.

Ahhhh yes, labels. Always a fan favorite, eh? If it says Libby's Libby's Libby's....er... nevermind. If you get that, you're at least as old as me, and remember only 3 stations on your parents black and white tv. Yes, the one on the wire & fake wood stand.
That one.

So back to labels & what they mean, and what they don't mean. I'm not writing about this because some guy with a fascination for combustibles wrote about it this morning (I hate when he writes about what was already on my mind! it reminds me of the kid that follows you by running ahead of you because they know where you're going - which he probably did as a child), I'm writing this because I had to laugh when I was recently called dangerous and unbalanced.

While Kev and I were talking about it, I conceded that the unbalanced one was a given. He agreed. Then again, he's slightly off-kilter as well, so maybe he isn't the best one to confirm such things, but that's beyond the point.

Point is... people fling labels around faster than they go through coffee filters. Half the time, people don't even bother to really think about what they're saying. A friend of mine likes to say (of PalTalk) "if you haven't been labeled yet, stick around, it won't be long before you get one". We do love our neat and tidy little compartments, don't we?

Applying labels is almost as annoying as it is needful. How does that make sense, you ask? Well, needful to properly identify good theology from bad, but annoying since one man's idea of bad theology is another man's orthodoxy. Isn't it odd how that works out?

I've admitted before I don't hold to common grace or the well meant offer. OHHHH! Hyper-Cal-Alert!

Not that I want to get into about either subject, the very fact that I don't fall in lock-step with some who do hold to this, it earns me the label of being an unbalanced Calvinist. To which I say "big whoop-dee-doo". Actually, I'm not even a Calvinist, so that only adds more confusion to this lovely label of mine. To effectively be a Calvinist means you have to agree with ole Jean on infant baptism and other such doctrines that he held to, which I simply do not agree with. So I'm a hyper-UnCalvinist, I guess. I'm not getting into the hyper-Cal subject either. These are just examples.

The real reason I'm writing about labels, is because of how dangerous the practice of applying them can be, IF you take them seriously. If you apply the labels that others give you (in anger, in hatred, in condescension or even in misunderstanding) it can really begin to mess you up. Receiving criticism in the form of labels, IF it's true, is not a bad thing, but a lot of people (women more than men, fact is, we're just like that) begin to question themselves, and doubt their position, and/or simply feel ill-at-ease in places where they once felt comfortable enough to simply be who they are, ask the questions they have, and be content that the Lord has them right where He wants them. (lol, here come the grammar-cops, look a the length of that sentence!)

I think it's safe to say, most people know exactly who, and what they are. If you're a believer, and you know you're a believer, you're a Christian. Simple, right? WRONG.

Once you confess you're a Christian, then folks demand to know what kind of a Christian. I certainly understand the need to know when someone confesses Christianity, where they really stand, but this next inquisition (that almost always comes) often reminds me of an interrogation, to get to the bottom of the case. Book'em, Dano!

If you're a Lutheran, do you know why? You better, because someone else knows Lutheranism better than you do, and sooner or later you're going to meet up with them. It won't be good enough to say you're a Lutheran because you agree with Lutheran teachings - you'll need to know names, dates, events, councils, full Lutheran church history, and the names and ages of all the key Lutheran leaders in every church split, over the last three hundred and twelve years. And their wives' names. And how many kids they had - and where those kids are now.

I'm only exaggerating a little, and I'm not picking on Lutherans (hi daaaaaaavid) I'm just using the example.

I say I'm Baptistic, and that actually ticks some people off. They say "why not call yourself a Baptist, why say "baptistic", what's wrong with you!?" Yes, they actually say that. I don't know, maybe I'm a rebel? Maybe I just find it more defining to say baptistic (every evangelical over the age of 12 knows what baptistic means, don't they?), rather than say BAPtist, like some do. I think for some, being a Baptist IS being a Christian, rather than being a Christian, and being baptist. That has always bugged me when the denom label takes priority over the label of "Christ-follower" .

So what in the world did I just write all that for?

Well, because I'm an unbalanced colonialist. This is the stuff we write about. And we're very dangerous too - because we ask uncomfortable questions, like "who died and left you in charge of my ongoing maturity in Christ?" Ohh... that's a bad one.

In all seriousness, I wrote this because I know there are a lot of other people out there who are also highly annoyed with the labels that others slap on them - practically branding them in a negative light, and doing so with a sickening air of superiority. i.e. "you're not where I am spiritually, therefore you're a bumbling dolt and should not be listened to".

It was that very attitude that made me think all Calvinists were pompous windbags, for so long.

While I do think labels are needed, I also think we need to exercise a WEE bit more compassion and understanding, before slapping them on, with a sledgehammer.

It just keeps getting better everyday!

I know... I know, the excitement around here just never stops. New polls (see sidebar), ad banners for my gift shop, and tales of the kid's adventures and my frustration.

It's a regular theme park.

For you readers coming from Phil's blog, I hope you weren't looking for anything too captivating. I'm about as interesting as toilet paper stuck to the shoe. Maybe funny at first, but rather annoying when it doesn't come off.

August 11, 2005

Saved and set free?

Yesterday, Rachel came running in the house, hollering:

"mom! we found a baby birdie in the poop pit, and we rescued him!"

In her hands was a wadded up hand towel. In the hand towel, was a tiny bird, covered in sludge.

Forgive me for not knowing the official term for the poop pit, but that's what it is - a big, circular pool-like structure, filled with sludgy-pork-stuff.

The kids are never ever ever ever allowed near it, but they go as close as they can without getting in huge trouble. Why do they do this? I have no idea, because they're kids.

In any event, yesterday morning a baby bird was stuck in it, finally flew out, but flew right into Rachel's hands. She immediately went to work cleaning him up, and loving him back to health. I took him out to the front yard, and put him on the platform feeder to rest from his big adventure.

A few minutes later, he was gone.

There is something incredibly rewarding, inwardly, about rescuing and cleaning up a filthy creation, and setting him free.

Amazing how the gospel just played itself out, in a very simple event at our house.

Here's the bird, right before he took off (that's my hand behind him to show how small he is):
It had been nagging at me to fix it, so I scrapped the whole thing and redesigned it.
The graphic, that is. And here it is:

5 Solas Men's Ash Gray T $19.99


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Our 100% cotton, Hanes Authentic Tagless T-Shirt is preshrunk, durable and guaranteed.
• 6.1 oz. 100% cotton • Standard fit (order here)

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From American Apparel, get into baby soft 100% super fine-combed cotton fleece. Front zipper, hood and pockets to keep the chill off.
• Pre-washed 7.2 oz 100% Combed Ring Spun Cotton Fleece
Size up for a looser fit • Made in the USA (order here)

Or click below, to see any of the 26 other products in our store with this newly redesigned graphic.

(The smaller print says:
"Scripture alone,
being our final authority,
teaches us that salvation is by His grace alone,
through faith alone, in Christ alone,
for the glory of God alone.")

August 10, 2005

A Smattering of Smatters

I have alot to write about today - so here we go:

Weekly lessons

Today I decided to go ahead and get a jump on weekly lesson planning. I've been thinking about it for a few days now, so I just sat down and did it today. I always start with Jessica's curriculum, and work my way down to Samuel's, so that's where I started today.

One of the books she'll be reading is In Freedom's Cause. As I planned her lessons it kept nagging me in the back of my mind "should I do a read-aloud" with all the kids this year? I don't do that (generally) and so I wonder if picking certain books this year and having a time of reading aloud to all the kids, would be a good thing. I think Jessica might find it boring - but maybe the younger kids would like that. We listen to the Homeschool Radio Show (see below) once a week, and they love that, so maybe this is a good idea (to foster the interest in great literature). What do you think?


Lessons on time

In the hopes of getting the kids back into the "school" habit, slowly, this week we start with a few formal lessons a week. A little math, a little handwriting brush up, etc. Today we did math worksheets and a lesson on telling time on an analog clock. Anna sits on a Log, clock. Word play is always a fun way to get kids to remember unusual words.

You've seen that emoticon of the yellow smiley guy bashing his head against a brick wall? Yeah, this one right here:


Well, that was me today, at the kitchen table. The lessons for the clock are very cool, I get those for free, here. Jordan and Rachel are both at a mix of grade level 1 and 2 in their academic skills, and Samuel is at a mix of kindergarten-grade 1. These math lessons are for public school aged kids ending first grade.

It can be so frustrating with these three. While Rachel picks up on just about everything, very quickly, Jordan and Samuel are about half-interested, and spend more time staring at their shoes, or fiddling with their pencil - not paying the least bit of attention to what I'm showing them on the clock. Those two couldn't care less about learning to tell time on an analog clock, so trying to teach them is like the guy above.

I will persevere - and sooner or later - I hope - they will learn. I hope my head isn't too dented up, by then.


Homeschool Radioshow Sale

Well that about says it all. Go here, it's very cool, I assure you. I'm hoping to search the couch cushions for change for the University Theater cd. It looks amazing, and something our whole family would really benefit from.


Mouse in fridge

Okay there isn't really one in the fridge, as far as I know. There is one that likes to play hide-n-seek from behind it though. So today I moved the fridge out, to clean under & behind it. Oh... my... word! If you haven't moved your fridge in 3+ years to clean, be prepared. There was stuff under there I didn't even know we had, let alone lost. There was also a small hole in the wall behind the cupboard (obviously Mister Mouse's doorway) and a lovely supply of mouse poop mixed in with all the bread sack ties, pencils, markers and scrunchies. In a word? "eww".

T-storms

We had THE coolest storm earlier today. We're apparently still under a severe t-storm watch, but it doesn't look like it's going to do anything else. It sure cooled it down for a while though, and this is always good, during the sweltering heat of August. Wild winds, torrential rains, and spectacular bolts of lightning... now there's a divine light show that no man could match, in any country, during any pyrotechnic display.

Bad commenter

I am. I have issues with replying to most email, in a timely manner ( my mom can attest to this - her last email ended with "please reply to this one!"). I have issues with replying to comments left here, and leaving comments elsewhere. It's not because I don't nod my head in affirmation with what was said (if it was good), it's just because... because... I dunno. It's just because. I think "I'll respond to that later" then I never do. I get sidetracked & just forget about it. It's bad, and I apologize if you've felt slighted by my bad commenter/email-replier syndrome. It's not you, it's me. Unless you're a creep, and you've sent me a snotty email, then it's definitely you.

Not really a whiner, am I?

I re-read the entry from last night, and cringed. I didn't really share that, I was kidnapped by a whiner with bouts of doubts, and locked in a closet without any coffee. Sometimes I re-read what I've written and think "oh shut up already! 1. who cares? 2. get over yourself 3. stop bumming people out and 4. you sound like a depressing old granny with "tales of yesteryear".

You know what I'm talking about. Everyone knows one of those old gals, or gents, that has the same collection of stories about great Uncle Beauford, or the time when cousin Clyde did the unthinkable at the train station... or whatever. And they re-tell these same stories over and over again. It doesn't matter how many times you say "yeah, you've told me about that before", they just go on, like they never heard you say that, and tell the story again.

I don't want to be Repetative Bummer Story Lady, and I also don't want to call my kids by the wrong names, and wear a sweater in July. I refuse. What? What does that have to do with what I shared last night? Nary a clue...

It's time to make dinner. Beef patties, homefries & cornbread. Boring, but it works.

SDG,
me

August 09, 2005

Tough times..

Fifteen years, 2 hours and 41 minutes ago, my third daughter came into this world. Healthy, hungry, and making alot of noise. Funny how some things never change.

On my children's birthdays I quite often think about what life was like, the day they were born. How circumstances were then, and how they've changed (or not).

With Jessica's birthday, there was, and to some degree still is, great bittersweetness. I can only hope God will continue to be faithful to lessen the bitter and increase the sweet, as the years roll by.

When she was born, life for me was blissfully ingorant. Ben and I had 2 little girls and one son (Ben's son from a previous and very short marriage) already, and now we had a brand new baby girl. We were happy, the kids were all healthy, and though we struggled to make ends meet alot of the time, we were a pretty content family.

The first six months after Jessica was born, were spent by me doing what every new mom does. Doing too much and not sleeping nearly enough. The older kids were 7, 7 and 4, and so it was a lot to keep up with them, and a newborn at the same time. Little did I know then, it would be basic training for a few years later with 4 kids all under 7.

It was just about the time Jessica was 6 months old, that I started to feel like I had a handle on things again. I had a daily routine down, and the house was actually clean again. We had our regular schedule during the day, and when the older kids were at school, Jessica and our 4 yr old Jennifer would be at home, doing mommy-kid-infant stuff. Even though I was not living my life as a believer - I tried to be thankful to God in the only way I knew how, and said a short prayer (that always felt so empty) every night. Life was good.

Then life exploded into a suffocating, black hole of pain, that would last for years to come. Jessica just turned 6 months old, Ben and I were prepared to celebrate our wedding anniversary on Valentine's Day, but instead of going out to dinner, we were called to the doctor's office.

About a week before this, Ben took half a day off to go to the doctor about a little lump he had on his side, under his ribs. The doc did a simple in-office surgery, and removed it. He told Ben it was likely nothing to worry about, but would run some tests just to be sure.

The tests came back positive for final stage melanoma. Upon further examination, and countless tests over the next week, Ben was given less than 2 months to live. Treatment was not an option.

Needless to say, I lost all form of self-control at this news, and sat in the doctor's office and slowly dissolved off my chair, in a demolished heap of pain.

God clearly had other plans for Ben, because the doctor did find a treatment (a clinical trial, no guarantees), and Ben did live for another 4 years, 6 months, and 1 day.

Ben and I were both converted to Christ the year before he died, and 6 days after Jessica turned 5 years old, Ben went home to our Lord.

Jessica's whole childhood, with Ben, was filled with illness, stress, tears, hugs, doctor visits, lengthy hospital stays, numerous surgical procedures and recovery times, and medication induced mood swings. She never knew any other life.

It was also filled with love, laughter, fun and games, trips to McD's for lunch, and afternoons at the playground, feeding the seagulls her fries.

On her last birthday when Ben was here, he was at the hospital for the last time. I bought her a lovely floral dress with matching hat, and after her friends and family left, the kids and I went up to the hospital to see him. She wore her new dress, to show Daddy. He loved it, and told her she looked like a princess. When she said "I wish Daddy could come home for my birthday" I had to leave the room and stand in the hall and cry.

That was 10 years ago tonight. It seems like yesterday.

I've struggled inwardly with Jessica's birthday ever since then. I tend to go all out for birthdays - balloons, streamers, hand decorated cakes - the whole deal. With every other birthday, I really enjoy it, but there's a little piece of me, on Jessica's birthday, that just wants to stand in the hall and cry.

10 years ago today, my baby (at the time) turned 5. Sometimes I wish I could turn the clock back and change that day - change that week - somehow. Sometimes I wish that the most painful time of my life, and her life, would have not happened right during the week of her birthday. I remember the older girls and Jessica and her little friends running around in the backyard, launching SkyDancers all over the place - and inside my heart a piece of me was dying right along with Ben.

So much has changed in 10 years, I couldn't have even imagined. And still, this is a painful time for me, so it's part of the reason I don't write much. In pain, I tend to say stupid things that dont make alot of sense, and things that I probably shouldn't have said. It's not AS painful as it used to be, but the sorrow is still there, and likely always will be.

Jessica had a good day today - regardless. Kev and I did all her chores for her, and she got to lay around the pool, and do nothing. Even though we had her birthday party a week ago, we tried to make this a good day for her.

I could say more, but I'm only going to open up old wounds, and I think it's best they be left alone.

SOLI DEO GLORIA

August 08, 2005

People who are very cool...

I haven't been writing nearly as much lately as I usually do. It's been bugging me, and all through the day when I have things on my mind I want to write about, I almost always do not have a handy notepad nearby to jot down my thoughts. Part of the reason I've been away from the blog, is due to the super-duper-secret-project I've been working on. I'm happy to say the project is now done, and will be made public on the 15th, as promised.

I finished earlier than I thought I would, so tonight I spent some time writing for challies.com community blog, which you can read here.

I mentioned Sal, Kim, Steph, and Nina in that piece, and there are two more people I want to mention as well.

The first is Vivian, or Viv, or Estero, or Estie... she'll answer to any of them. This is a sister I've been chatting with in PalTalk for nearly two years. She's a real nice lady, who like me, doesn't believe in candy-coating, or soft-peddling truth. Part of the reason we get along so well, I think. Viv is too funny, also.

For the last 7 years, living in Canada I've been half-jokingly lamenting that I cannot get:

1. Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
2. Malt-o-Meal (all flavors)

Both items I grew up eating, and once grown, made for my kids. Both family favorites, and neither available in Ontario. When we went out west to my mom's in 2001, I bought both, and we enjoyed them while there. When we went down to KY last fall, I made the horrid mistake of NOT buying them when I saw them at the grocery store, and forgot all about them until we were back on this side of the border. Oh the pitiful lameting. It was not pretty.

Apparently, pitiful lamenting pays off. I didn't realize how much I'd publicly whined about it, until Viv said to me last week "give me your mailing address, I'm sending you corn muffin mix". I said "huh?!?" She said "give me your address". I was thrilled. Today, the box arrived. A HUGE box filled with Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix! More mix than I could shake a stick at, if I had a stick. I am now sufficiently tickled, and ever so grateful to Viv for this wonderful gift that most people would go "um, it's muffin mix, it's not that big of a deal". I assure you, for a corn bread addict, it's a big deal.

So, to Viv {{{{{{ you! }}}}}}} thank you for the mix, you're a dear.

Now, I want to mention Sallie. Sallie's the sister behind Two Talent Living - the blog with the funniest, most original disclaimer ("Legal Drivel" on the side bar) I've ever read on any blog, to date. You really have to go read it. If you don't laugh, you have no sense of humor and belong in therapy.

Sallie's got a great blog, and as an added bonus, Sallie has regular give-a-ways. I rarely enter for things like that, because I'm one of those people who just never win anything. Once, about 10 years ago, I won $250 dollars in grocery store money (I had to spend it at that store) for a cookie recipe I entered in their store magazine, but that was it. Other than that, I just don't win stuff.

Sallie's last give-a-way was something I really wanted, not only for me because I'm a corny, self-centered slob, but for the kids, because they're just cool. The give-a-way was for 2 Little House on the Prairie Christmas videos. I loved that show, and probably watched every single first run episode, and at least half of them in reruns. So, when I saw she was giving away these videos, I threw all caution to the wind and entered. Here is my official entry:

"I’m putting my name in too! I love the Little House stories, and the kids would sure love to have these. I’ll sign with my first name and last initial, but my real name is “the lady who never wins anything” lol. Carla R."

She was also giving away another movie I thought I'd like to see, so I entered my name for that one too:

"I’m putting my name in for this one too! Thank you for offering these Carla R. "

The drawing was held last weekend, and guess what? I WON ALL OF THEM!

I thought Sallie was messing with my head when she emailed me and told me I won (just kidding, I didn't really think that), but I was so excited! Okay fine, I'm easily entertained.

But I won, I won, I won! Kev came home from work and I said "I won something!" He said "no way, what did you win?". He knows I never win anything.

So they arrived today! Yay, my winnings, lol. The kids were very excited to see what I'd won, and they wanted to watch them all, right now. I told them no, we would wait. Not sure what we're waiting for, but we'll pick a rainy day, bake corn muffins from Viv and watch a Christmas video from Sallie.

So, for Sallie {{{{{{{ you! }}}}}} thank you!

Today was a good day. I even got the pool clean, found a roadside corn stand and bought a dozen ears for the change in my pocket, and a sugar-baby watermelon that was so huge we ate less than half of it with dinner.

I like days like today. :-)

SDG,
Carla The Corn Muffin Addict/Give-a-Way Winner

A funny thing happened on the way to sleep...

I don't know what it's called, but everyone knows what it is. You're relaxed, almost-but-not-quite-asleep, and you have a 'dream'. You can't technically call it a dream, because you're not really asleep yet, and you know you're not. It's that "I'm not really sleeping yet and I'm having a dream" dream.

Night before last, I had one of those, sort of. I've had them before, but this one was very weird. This one felt real - so real that if I opened my eyes, I'd still be seeing what I was seeing from behind my eyelids. Or so real that it was a memory, instead of a dream. It was very odd.

In this strange dream-stage, I was standing on my deck looking toward the walnut tree. Among the branches, something caught my eye. A flash of color that was unfamiliar to me. I scanned the tree for movement, and there it was. A bird, about the size of an Oriole, but the wrong color, and with the wrong markings. It was an odd olive color, with dark wings and very noticeable white wing bars. I thought to myself "that's strange, I have no idea what that bird is".
That was it, that was the end of my weird-awake-almost-asleep-not-really-a-dream, dream.

Now, it would make perfect sense to have a dream like that, had I been thinking about birds. I hadn't been. My last coherent thought before this dream was how much it annoys me that people say "in hospital" instead of saying "in the hospital". I was sure it was a Canadian thing, or maybe a European thing, since I had never in all my 33 years in the states, heard 1 person say that. Then I moved to Canada - and most people say it that way. I only thought it was a Canadian thing until one night watching the news a couple years ago, I heard on an American newscast, an American say "in hospital". Then the other day, Phil wrote it on his blog. Surely it must have rubbed off on him from all his globetrotting.

I realize I've gone off on a rabbit trail here - and you're wondering "what in the world does this have to do with that weird dream-thing?" Well, it has nothing to do with but I'm going to finish my thought anyway. You can skip this part if you're feeling like you're in hospital.

Let's look at what is actually being said.

If I said "she went into labor and was taken to hospital", what I'm actually saying is:

she went into labor and was taken to a physical/psychological condition that required medical attention

See, it makes NO sense. Used this way, the word hospital is being used as an adjective, a describing word. But no.... the British don't like the word "the" and so "in hospital" has caught on with Canadians, and now with Americans. (Merriam Webster assures me it's a British thing).

What I would have really meant by saying the above, was

she went into labor and was taken to the building filled with bed pans, doctors and surgery tools, where they care for the sick, the medically needy, and people with bad grammar skills

Newsflash: "hospital" is a noun. It's a place. It's not a verb, or adjective, or adverb.

Now read this paragraph and see if it makes sense:

I got in van, so I could drive to town. While I was in bank, I said hello to a lady. I left bank, and drove to grocery store. While in grocery store, I bought some fruit. I left store, and rented a movie from movie store. When I arrived home, Kev and kids were all in pool.

Notice anything missing? The word THE. See... if we all left out the word the, when we spoke, we'd all sound like wackos. So why is it okay to leave out the word the when we say the hospital? I don't know, but it annoys me. (and yes I know I do not have a mastery of grammar, but in this case, it's pretty obvious there's a messed up approach, eh?)

ANYWAY....

Back to my dream. So I had the weird dream-thing and thought "huh, that was sort of strange" then fell asleep and probably would have never thought of it again - were it not for what happened yesterday morning.

I was in my room, getting the girls ready for church. My bedroom window overlooks the front yard (I was tempted to leave the word the out, just to see if you'd catch it), and the faerie garden. In the faerie garden, at any given time of day, is a wide variety of colorful song birds, and the token mourning dove, or starling. It's the same cast of characters pretty much every day, except for the spring and fall migration periods. During those times (April-May & September-October), any number of new birds might show up, for a short period of time on their way north, or south. They never stay for more than a few days, at best.

So yesterday morning, while brushing Rachel's hair, something out the window caught my eye. A flash of color, that didn't register as "usual". Then a de ja vue of the dream-thing I had the night before. I put the brush down, said "hang on" to Rachel, and stood to look out the window.

I looked into the birch tree, and waited for movement. I saw him. Out of my mouth came "no WAY!" It was the same identical bird I saw in my weird dream, the night before. Identical, right down to the color, and the wing bars. I said to Rachel "look at that bird, what is he?" (the kids love birds too - Rachel could identify a grosbeak at 2 years old). She looked, and her eyes got wide, and she said "wow, I don't know, I've never seen one of those before, he's COOL!" I'd never seen one either, except in my dream, so I ran and got the camera.

The angles were bad, the lighting was worse, and he moved so fast from branch to branch, it was almost impossible to keep a track on him and get a clear shot. I did manage to get three, which show his coloring and his general size, and wingbars, but they're not nearly as clear as I'd like them to be.

While I was running out to the deck to get a clearer shot, Rachel was running up to the game room to grab the field guide so I could check and see what he was, lol. How many 6 year old kids even know what a field guide is, let alone care? She's funny.

Anyway - I never did figure out what he was, and never saw him again yesterday. He flew away, and that was that. Until this morning, when I looked out, and there he was again. Again, bad lighting, bad angles, no clear shot.

I'm going to stalk the tree tomorrow morning from the other side of the yard, and see if he shows up.

The one bonus however, about being outside that early, is this:


Sunrise - August 8, 2005





August 06, 2005

New Project (that I can't tell you about yet)

I've been super-duper busy working on a new project, and it's turning out really well. Exceptionally well, in fact! I'm so excited about this and I can't even tell you what it is! SHHH, it's a great big secret.

I can say though, it's been alot of work (heavy on the alot) and I have to squeeze the work inbetween this, that & some other stuff, and at times it was (and still is) really frustrating. However, the end result is turning out so incredibly cool, even my 15 year old (who is far too old at this point to find mom "cool") is going "hey, I really like those! I want one!".

I can't tell you what it is, or give any more clues than that, until the 15th. Watch this blogspot on the 15th! I hope you're as impressed as I am, lol.

And now, it's time to fry a chicken. (yes, I am a Baptist... it's what we do, eh?)

August 05, 2005

Too lazy to think up a good topic for this entry...

I don’t do this very often but here goes.

Yesterday I posted an entry that basically addressed where I am emotionally & spiritually, with the particular issue of our speech & conduct. I posted excerpts of an email I received from someone who asked that it remain private. Ironically, it’s almost always the nastiest emails that the authors wish to remain “private” and confidential.

I don’t believe in honoring the wishes of those who privately and say hateful, hurtful things, without the courage to say them publicly, and own up to them. To me, that’s being two-faced, and I’m not into that. However – due to respect for the person who wrote it – because this person is a professing believer – and I don’t want to humiliate them publically – I did not reveal the identity of the author of the email. Since their identity is not revealed, either publicly or privately to anyone (only the author, me and God know who this person is), there is nothing “unethical” whatsoever in my posting of the excerpts. You may or may not agree. I’m completely at peace with what I posted – as it was critically relevant to the whole context of the entry.

Now, regarding that entry, I said I’d delete certain kinds of replies. I haven’t really payed attention to the replies until tonight. In fact, I’ve avoided the whole issue today and stayed quite busy working on other things.

However, this brings me to this comment, on that entry:


Gene Grim said...
Wow. Of course even if the person is "hateful" we as Christians should respect their wishes. To be honest, Carla comes off as a hateful person in many of her posts. Do I think she is hateful? No. The point is, the character of the other person does not absolve us of behaving properly. I am with Ken on this. The email should have been responded to personally and not published - in whole or in part. Someone called Carla out, she got hurt, and did the very thing she was called out for.Hmmm. Is this why Paul told one church not to let the women talk publically - because they got themselves into trouble they could not handle?


Like I said, I have no issue with posting the excerpts of the email.

Now moving on to Carla coming off as a hateful person.

Please, give me a break. Hateful toward what, or whom? People? NEVER. You will never find 1 post of mine, anywhere, that is hateful toward an individual. You may find numerous posts of mine that are hateful toward injustice, abuse, crime, and rotten doctrine, but toward people, not a chance. I fully admit I hate injustice, abuse, crime, and rotten doctrine. They hurt people and I hate that.

Someone called Carla out? No, someone was privately nasty to me in email, and yes, it hurt, exactly as it was intended to do, despite the closing of “grace and peace”. I’m fed up with people using the “oh I’m only saying this to edify you” excuse to be nasty and ugly toward other people. It’s as transparent as glass, and it happens all the time.

When you criticise a doctrine (according to Scripture) and a person who holds to that doctrine becomes offended, in their eyes you’re criticising them, personally. Instead of sticking to the doctrine, and addressing the text, the offended party takes it to a personal level and down the slippery slope of strawman argumentation we go. It happens day in and day out, in Christian chats, forums, and blogs.

Finally – I’m floored that this commenter actually brought up the “women ought to be silent” tactic. Not only is it ridiculously insulting to every Christian woman blogger, it’s not even in context. Paul never told the women to be silent publically, he taught that they should be silent in the church. Unless the blogosphere is now the church (which it’s not) I’m fairly certain us women-folk (who dare have the nerve to even have opinions on doctrine and theology, let alone voice them) are on safe ground.

I can’t believe I’m even addressing this – but here are the facts:

My husband reads this blog, all the time. He supports what I write, 100%. A lot of what I write comes out of conversations he and I have had – and we are on the same identical page, when it comes to doctrine and theology.
My pastor knows I blog, and he also supports me 100%.

Now – with all that said – I’m leaving this topic behind. I’m done dealing with this, after a lengthy time in prayer, and the blessing of many others praying for me. If folks want to think negative things about me, then so be it, I cannot change how folks think, especially when they've already made up their minds, and have no interest in actually getting to know me. Those who know me, know the truth about me, and those who know me, know how to encourage me when I blunder, with love and with compassion that truly does inspire me to better things.

So, there ya go.
SDG

The Frugal Packrat

I uploaded a few new pictures this morning to my photoblog, and while I was there, this picture of Kev made me smile. Oh, not for the "help, I'm a bad actor in a horror flick" look on his face, although that's always fun. I smiled because I have turned into my mom. I can smile about it now, but 20 years ago, had anyone suggested it might happen, the look on Kev's face would have been the look on mine, but for real.

Let's examine this pic to see why I've turned into my mom. (Your mileage may vary - unless you click the larger image here to see what I'm talking about):

On the fridge:
• dollar store photo-magnet frame (with only 1 picture in it, taken 2 summers ago)
• free "grocery shop from home" magnet (which isn't even available in my part of the country)
• magnet holding up a free recipe I printed from the internet

In the dishrack:

• 4 plates I bought at Value Village for 25 cents each
• 4 plates I bought at a yard sale for 10 cents each
• a few plastic picnic plates I bought from Canadian Tire during their dollar days blowout, a few years ago
• the dishrack itself: dollar store

Left cupboard:

• a messy collection of dishes, mixing bowls, plates & misc. mostly bought at discount stores

Right cupboard (and this is the jackpot cupboard, mom will be SO proud!):

• 3 (count 'em, three) coffee pot carafe's from coffee makers now in the landfill
• 1 extra filter basket holder thingy, from one of the landfill coffee makers
• Numerous plastic tumblers bought from Zehr's Gigantic Dollar Days bin
• Glasses from the dollar store
• And the always needed left-over frosting tub (still with the attached "no name" brand label)

On the counter:

• Bread box with a bad paint job - bought at a yard sale for 4 dollars.

The thing is, it doesn't end there. Being a frugal packrat is contagious. Let's examine our dishwasher model, Kev.

See that jersey he's wearing? IT'S MINE, he stole it. I never even got a chance to wear it once, before he literally snatched it out of my hands and said "hey, this is cool, can I have it?". I let him have it.

Too frugal to actually buy a sleeveless tee, he later asked me to remove the sleeves for him. Which I did.

You can't tell from the way the pic cuts off (no pun intended) but those jeans he's wearing:

Zellers Buy One Get One Half Off sale - altered - now cut offs.

The nasty looking stained up handtowel he's using to dry dishes:

Pkg of 12 for 4.99 at some store somewhere along the way that had a sale.

Come to think of it... maybe that look on Kev's face is because he has turned into my mom?

New Day

New poll (see left sidebar) and new day.





Dawn of a new day - painted by the Master's hand

(Click here to see full size)

Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O LORD: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me.

Psalm 40:11

August 04, 2005

Holding back some tears

This is a very difficult thing for me to write, so if it rambles, twists, turns and at times makes precious little sense, please forgive me.

I’ve been spending less and less time, over the last few months (since March) online in Christian communities. This includes blogs, chats & forums. Obviously I have my favorite places that I enjoy, but I’ve seriously whittled away many places.

One of the reasons I’ve done this, is to free up my time to get things done around my house that I want to do. Things that need to be done, to make my house the home I want it to be, for my family. Things like, completely redoing my girl’s room, sewing drapes for the living room, refinishing the dining room table, and Ruth’s dresser, moving the schoolroom from the kitchen to the game room – and so, so much more. I only have 4-5 more weeks left of “free time” before school starts again, and I still have so much more to do.

One of the other reasons I’ve spent less time online, is due to the nastiness of professing Christians. Bottom line: there are some Christians that have the ability to use words that slice, stab, and sting. I loathe being around that – no matter if it comes from professing believers, or not.

Today while working on the dining room table, a thought occurred to me. The finish on my table has gone through a lot of wear and tear, with 7 kids, countless holidays and birthdays, horrible humidity, spills, dinks, nicks, and even an explosion or two. When I bought the table 17 years ago, I paid a whole bunch of money for a really solid table, hoping it would last for many years to come. And it has, but it needs some rejuvenating. So, I took it upon myself to completely strip the table top, sand it down to a smooth finish, then white-wash stain it, and re-varnish it. It’s a huge job, and I don’t even have the right tools to do it with. Dollar store sandpaper isn’t the best in the world, but it does work.

Before I can even sand it, I have to remove the old finish. I can’t just run off to the hardware store and buy a handy can of remover, so I’m doing it the old fashioned way. I wait for painfully humid days where the moisture in the air really gums up the finish, and makes it soft enough to gently scrape off. It’s a tedious, hot, painful (on my hands) process, but it’s the only way to do it.

The thought that occurred to me, was that how interesting it was that I have to take advantage of some really miserable circumstances, in order to create something beautiful. Something that will shine, and be useful once again.

God works in our lives in exactly the same way. Not only does He use miserable and painful circumstances to draw us closer to Him, and learn great lessons – but He is the one who orchestrates the miserable circumstances to begin with.

How often do we learn great and lasting spiritual lessons, when things are going fine? Oh sure, we praise the Lord and thank Him for the blessings in our lives, but beyond that, and because things are going fine, it doesn’t really give us a lot of motivation to really dig deep into the word, or spend massive amounts of time on our knees in prayer. It’s probably been said before, but it’s the valley where we grow, and the mountain where we rest.

Some might find it odd that I was encouraged by this thought –since welcoming painful, and difficult circumstances might be seen as sort of bizarre. And I honestly don’t welcome them for the pain they cause, but I do welcome the opportunity the Lord affords me to grow, and come to a deeper faith.

How ironic then, to finish my work on the table, slice a loaf of fresh baked bread, and sit down with the kids and listen to this week’s homeschool radio show. It was a really fun show, and the kids loved it. Even the big kid on the couch we call Papa. Even the 15 year old who is probably far too cool to enjoy such things.

So this was a nice little mountain top. As a family we sat together and enjoyed a little story, and shared a loaf of fresh bread.

Mountain-time over… here comes another valley.

When the show was over, I checked my email, only to find an email from someone who has recently been rather rude and insulting toward me (and has defended and justified such actions). Being the eternal optimist, my first thought was “maybe this person feels bad that they were hurtful and just wants to apologize?”. Fat chance, Albert. Before I share parts of this email (and I will not name the person, that’s not important), I want to say that sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me, is a load of horse snot. Names do hurt, insults hurt, and everyone knows it – THAT’s why people fling them.

The email did not start with an apology – it didn’t even start with addressing me, personally. It started with justifying why they had recently been insulting – and that if I didn’t “get it” it was my problem and not theirs. Call me wacky, but when someone slanders you “tongue in cheek” and you tell them you’re insulted and offended, it seems to me the Biblical thing to do is repent & apologize, not make excuses. Alas, this is my problem, you see. I have no idea what I’m talking about, nor what I’m doing. I have proof of this, as you’ll see by the list of things said in this email. For the record, the topic here is the ‘emerging church’ and this is the kind of email I get on a regular basis. This one isn’t even from someone who has embraced it – which makes it all the more unusual.

  • I think you have a chip on your shoulder and missed the humor of it. (re: the recent insult)
  • I believe my caricature of you was still true
  • you are so busy trying to negate a whole, very diverse and loosely tied group of people that you can't see when you are wrong
  • you have plenty of "right" doctrine that you are using to hurt brothers and sisters in Christ
  • you should see your error and change your approach
  • it's very clear that you have no idea what you are doing on your site.
  • It's not just ec people saying that, whether you know it or not.
  • I'm not trying to be demeaning or cruel, just honest.
  • Your approach is arrogant and condescending.
  • You consistently have that victim mentality and it's just not true most of the time.
  • I'm not pro-ec. I'm anti your unbiblical sort of judgment and condemnation.
  • I criticize the ec. But in a much different way than you do. Driscoll criticizes and many in the ec listens. (referring to Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill – Seattle) You criticize and no one does.
  • I think you are strengthing the ec in a bad way because you completely turn them off through your style of arrogant reformed evangelicalism and they are bonding through adversity.
  • Obviously, this is private correspondence and not to be spoken ofpublicly. (wrong – this will be made public at least as far as the comments themselves – but unless the author wishes to reveal themselves, I will not, since I find no fruit in that).

The comments end with this:
"Grace and Peace."

Now – I didn’t copy the entire message, because the purpose for doing this was to simply say, I’m tired, and this is why.

I’m tired of ugly words supposedly used to edify. There was no more grace or peace in that message than there is in a baseball bat upside the head.

The thing is – I’m probably off base in more than a few areas. And I have never pretended that I’m not. I have much to learn, and by His grace, I will continue to do that. Yet, I find it quite striking that not 2 days ago I had a wonderful conversation with a pastor friend in Germany, about this very thing – our conduct in speech, and how to converse with people in a Biblical, compassionate way.

Have I always, or do I always do that? No, I do not. Sometimes I say things that are sarcastic, and other times I say things that are dead serious, and taken as sarcastic. I’m learning day to day how to communicate my thoughts for the edification of others, and I confess, I’m not a professional at it. Not yet, anyway.

But I wonder – does this justify an email message like this? Did this edify me? No, it didn’t edify me at all, it hurts. It didn’t encourage me, it tore me down. In fact, it made me think of all the comments I heard growing up from a certain abusive family member that loved to say things just like this, to humiliate me and make me feel worthless. And I must say, they did a great job.

The same pastor friend in Germany that I spoke with the other day about this, has often said something that I hang on tight to. He says that when you’re in the “public eye” like I am, in a sense, that you have to learn to take the criticism for what it’s worth. If there is any truth in it, take it and learn from it, and if there isn’t, flat out ignore it and don’t let it tear you down.

I hang on to that, but I confess I don’t always do it. Something else the Lord is working on with me.

So… why am I posting any of this? Maybe it’s because I have a victim mentality? (yes, that was sarcasm, for the record). Well, because it’s where I am today, and has a lot to do with where I’m going.

The where I am, consists mainly of a lot of hurt, and a lot of time in prayer. Yes there are some good and even great things in my life and in my world that I’m eternally grateful for (such as physical blessings, and incredible friends that truly do edify me and challenge me in love to strive to better things – and you know who you are). But right now, for reasons I can only surmise that it has pleased the Lord to do so, there is a boatload of hurtful, ugly, negative, difficult and stressful things, in my life. I try hard to put on a happy face and be encouraged, but it gets real hard sometimes.

Especially when I get email like this.

Maybe I really am all of the above mentioned things, and I don’t even know it? Maybe the person behind this email is the only one with the guts to tell me what others are thinking and saying (obviously not to my face). If I am that person, then I am repulsive and should repent, and apologize to everyone I’ve offended. If you’re on the list, just leave your name and say “you are that person, you owe me an apology”. (no, I was not being sarcastic, just so there’s no confusion on this).

As to the where I’m going… I don’t know. I’m hopeful that I’m going the direction of a person with deeper faith, more compassion, and more understanding. I battle daily with where I am right now, and how I conduct myself, in example and in speech. It’s taken all I have to write this without tears – and I’m only holding them back because I don’t want to upset the kids – or really verbalize any of this, to anyone. Not yet, anyway.

I know part of the “where I’m going” at this point, is toward the more edifying type of writing. Anyway that’s what I’m hoping for. I’m tired of controversy, I’m tired of getting nasty, painful emails, because I had the nerve to voice my opinion on what I believe to be a horrible deviation from Biblical Christianity. It's apparently okay for some to voice their opinion, and not for others. I'm one of the others.

I’ve struggled with many issues lately, and this is just one of them – and it’s a big one. I simply ask this:

Please pray for me, as the Lord brings me to your thoughts. There are some changes I need to make in my life, and in my presence online, and I’m still unclear on which changes are for the best, and what should stay the same.

Thank you for allowing me to bare my soul a little bit.

If you have anything ugly to say, do this:

Go to the bathroom, and stand in front of the mirror. (yes, I’m serious) When you have a real good view of your face, speak outloud, to the reflection of your own face, the nasty thing you were going to say to me, in text. If you can do that, and you can see Christ in what you’re saying, then by all means, leave your nasty comment (which I will promptly delete – just a warning). If you can’t, then maybe it’s time to re-examine the way you communicate with others – exactly the same way I’ve been doing, and hope to do more of, and hope to get better at.

And now, I need a nap.

SOLI DEO GLORIA

ps - I did not post those email comments as a way to encourage any FURTHER emails from this person - I think what was said, is enough. I do not wish to correspond with this person in any way whatsoever.

August 03, 2005

Refreshed

Lately, I guess I've been super-sensitive to obnoxious people, and their obnoxious conduct. Not sure why I've been so sensitive to it, I just have been.

See that banner pic? That's actually the sunset here tonight. Yes, where I live, the sun is blue and trees are white. Everyone should live where the sun is blue.

After the kids went to bed, Kev and I went down to the creek to just enjoy it. I like going down there, it tends to refocus me back onto the glory of God, His majestic hand over all His creation, and what's important (and what's not).

Here's something important: a great blue heron, flying low over the corn and wheat fields, gracefully flapping his wings so slowly, to maintain his speed, and altitude... gently turning ever so slightly to follow the bend in the creek, only to disappear behind the row of pine and spruce trees.

And God Almighty created it all. The heron, corn, wheat, dirt, water in the creek, and the sunset that illuminated the graceful bird.

That same God who created majestic mountain peaks, and snow, and maple leaves... sunsets and stars, strawberries and honey - that's the same God who cares for me, and you, even when we've just had the most rotten day we've had in a long time.

A dear sister in the Lord says often "don't let anyone steal your joy". I often think of her, and her reminder, on days like today.

SDG - me

On being in awkward-shoes

When I was in 3rd grade, I had a classmate named Tracy. Tracy was one of those girls that had the pretty hair, a very cool bike, was very funny, and could pretty much do no wrong in the eyes of other girls in the 3rd grade. Tracy was new to our school that year, and to my surprise I found out she lived just 2 blocks away.

We met aftershool one day and began riding bikes together, climbing trees, playing with dolls, and whatever else 9 year old girls do, to have fun. I really liked her and we had alot of fun together, at school on the playground and after school in the neighborhood.

One day, pretty much out of the blue, Tracy said to me (of another girl I had befriended) "if you want to be my friend, you can't be her friend - I don't like her, and if you do, I won't like you".

I was stunned. I couldn't believe she was serious. It was an awkward and uncomfortable moment for me, and it all seemed so ugly. It felt like I was suddenly in the wrong clothes, with the wrong shoes, in a place I didn't belong. I don't even recall how I responded, but I do know I never gave up my friendship with the other girl. Tracy and I continued to be "friends" but not like we had been before. She moved away a year later and that was that.

That was pretty much my introduction to cliques, jealousy, division and strife, among peers. I wanted NO part of it. I still don't.

Now that I'm no longer in the third grade (yes I know, big surprise, eh?) I have grown up friends who have gone through the Tracy School of Friendship. And they're much more adept at phrasing what Tracy said, in more crafty, subtle, almost manipulative ways.

I have friends and aquaintances that have the very same attitude that Tracy had. It's very hard to deal with, since I so much enjoy the friendship and the fellowship I have with a pretty diverse group of people.

Talking to my friend Audey last night, I made the comment that I can have and enjoy a good conversation with just about anyone. Upon further reflection, I have to admit that this is just not true. Well, it's only partially true. I might be enjoying the conversation, but it's frequently revealed to me that the other party certainly didn't enjoy it. I find this bizarre.

I have a theory. It's not new, and it's not mine - it's the Scriptural mandate on how we're to talk to people. All kinds of people - the saved, the lost, the hurting, the deceived, the angry, the grieving, etc. I believe with all my heart and mind, that if you tame your tongue, and show genuine compassion (as opposed to the fake kind), and genuine honesty (which is likely a grammatical no-no) then it's not only possible to have good conversation with folks, but it's probable, and fruitful.

Not being one to give in to subjective experiences, I do have to say that I have had countless conversations like this, where the mutual respect was given and the conversation did in fact turn out to be very edifying.

Alas... I have friends that refuse to acknowledge this. Refuse to offer the hand of fellowship or friendship to those that they disagree with in certain points of doctrine. Not only refuse fellowship, but in subtle ways place demands on me in regards to my fellowship and conversation with certain people. That kind of demand didn't work for Tracy in the third grade, and it wont work now, either.

I don't like being in this situation because it usually ends up with me losing friends.
I hate losing friends, I'm a sore loser.

I don't know that there's any answer to this except to continue to strive to conduct myself in the way I know the Scriptures teach. Our conduct, and our speech, is critical to holy living and to presenting a worthy witness of the grace of God in our lives. That's my goal. It's not always easy to keep it set before my eyes, when some try so hard to pull it away.

SDG - me

August 02, 2005

Book sale YOU need to know about...

Yes, this means you...

My favorite online bookseller, Grace & Truth Books has just announced their August Specials.

You just have to go take a look at what they're highliting for August:

  • 100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum - Cathy Duffy
  • Amazing Grace: The History and Theology of Calvinism - featuring R.C. Sproul, D. James Kennedy, George Grant, more
  • Not Even A Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lust - Joshua Harris
  • Pilgrim's Progress in Modern English - John Bunyan....

and much more! Go check it out - you'll be glad you did.

For the frugal homeschooler:

Our family has been enjoying a wonderful resource, thanks to Adrienne. She blogged about this and as soon as I read it, I knew it would be something we'd all enjoy.

Of course I'm talking about homeschoolradioshows.com, a free service! They send a notice once a week (on Tuesday) to let you know about the new show for the week. I wanted to bring your attention to this - but I also wanted to bring your attention to the notice in this week's email that next week, they're having a "HUGE back to homeschool sale". If you haven't checked them out yet (and you should) this might be a good time to do that.

August 01, 2005

The wonderful name above all names...

Many years ago, before our youngest two children were even born, Kev and I found a great little devotional, at a local Christian bookstore. They had a little bin of free items, right next to the door, so I went rummaging through it. I spotted this little booklet, and opened it up. It was a 30 day, family devotional on the names of God. It had little stories, plus the different names, what they mean, where to find them in Scripture, and how to pronounce them in English. The fact that it was free, means it was something that didn't sell. The fact that it was something that didn't sell, was rather disturbing. However, given the main theme of this store (controversy/prophecy/Y2K) it didn't really surprise me.

So, we took the devotional home and started it that night, with the kids. It was great! Everyone learned the different names of God, and we even had a test at the end of the 30 days. Everyone did very well on the test, too.

I lost the little booklet somewhere along the way, but I did manage to save the list of names, and the Scripture references. I put it on our website and it's been sitting there ever since. For the last few months however, it's been on my mind to print it out and do this 30 day devotion again. So that's exactly what we did tonight, starting with Elohim.

For your edification, and your families, I'll share this list here. What we did, was talk a little about the different names of God, and how each one means something different, then we had everyone say 'el-oh-heem' (phonics rule!). Then Kev read the portion of Scripture that tells us why God is referred to as Elohim.

Tomorrow, we'll do the next one on the list, and go over Elohim again, and have all the kids tell us what it means. The next night we'll do the third one, and have them go over #1 and #2, and do the same thing. It's amazing what repetition does for the memory. I look forward to doing this devotion again. I hope it's a blessing to you as well.

There's just something about, that name...
  1. Elohim (el-oh-heem')... God - Genesis 1:1-4
  2. Jehovah (jeh-ho-vaw')... Lord - Isaiah 12
  3. El-Shaddai (ale shad-dah'-hee)... God Almighty - Genesis 17:1-5
  4. Adonai (ad-o-noy')... Lord - Genesis 15:1-6
  5. Jehovah-Jireh (yir-eh')... Provider - Genesis 22:1-14
  6. Jehovah-Rophe (raw-faw')... Healer - Exodus 15:22-26
  7. Jehovah-Nissi (nis-see')... Our Banner - Exodus 17:8-16
  8. Jehovah-M'Kaddesh (m kaw-dash')... Sanctifier - Leviticus 20:1-8
  9. Jehovah-Tsidkenu (tsed-ken-oo)...Our Righteousness - Jeremiah 23:1-6
  10. Jehovah-Rohi (raw-hee)... Shepherd - Psalm 23
  11. Jehovah-Shalom (shaw-lome')... Peace - Judges 6:1-24
  12. Jehovah-Shammah (shawm-a)... Ever Present - Ezekiel 48:30-35
  13. El-Elyon (ale el-yone')... Most High - Daniel 4:17-34
  14. Jehovah-Sabaoth (sab-ah-owth')... Lord of Hosts - Psalm 89:1-8
  15. Jehovah-Nakah (naw-kaw)... The Lord who Smites - Ezekiel 7:1-9
  16. Alpha and Omega... First and Last - Revelation 1:1-11
  17. Qadowsh-Iysh (kaw-doshe' eesh)... Holy One - Isaiah 12
  18. Qanna (kan-naw')... Jealous - Exodus 34:1-14
  19. El Olam (ale o-lawm')... Everlasting - Genesis 21:22-33
  20. Sur/Petra (tsoor/ pet'-ra)... The Rock - Psalm 61
  21. El-Roi (ale ro-ee)... Strong One who Sees - Genesis 16:1-13
  22. Semah (tseh'-makh)... the Branch - Isaiah 11:1-9
  23. Paraclete (par-a-klete)... Comforter - John 14:15-27
  24. Thura (thoo'-ra)... The Door - John 10:1-10
  25. Yasha (yaw-shaw')... Savior - Isaiah 45:15-22
  26. Asah (aw-saw')... Maker - Isaiah 45:5-12
  27. Pistos (pis-tos')... Faithful - Revelation 19:11-21
  28. Amnos/Arnion (am-nos'/ar-nee'-on)... The Lamb - John 1:29-36
  29. Orthrinos-Aster (or-thrin-os' as-tare')... Morning Star - Revelation 22:12-16
  30. Pele-Yaats (peh'-leh yaw-ats')... Wonderful Counselor - Isaiah 11:1-5

Faithsense?

I've just had too much on my mind for the last few days. Too much to really focus in on one thing. Until tonight.

On Sunday, my pastor preached a message on how Joseph was brought through many trials, for a purpose that would ultimately bring glory to God. Not only did God take Joseph through so many painful trials to have him exactly where He wanted him, He made each trial a learning lesson, a character building session for Joseph, to bring him to a place God wanted him.

For anyone who has ever really taken a hard look at the life of Joseph, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you've never really done this, I highly recommend the study.

Now, while I know this is what God does with us too, even after all I've gone through personally, it's still a very difficult truth for me to get ahold of. It's also very difficult to admit, and I'm honestly not sure why.

Whenever I look back over my life, and see the things God brought me through, I can see it clear as day, how I needed this, or that, because that's where He was taking me. I can count all the lessons and recall all the things I've learned, in each trial. Honestly, the hardest trials, the ones I thought I might die from, are the ones I've learned the most in.

And yet here I sit, going through another one (an ongoing one for about a year now) and I wonder if He looks at me with the thought "oh ye of little faith".

There is an issue that our family is dealing with that isn't an easy thing to deal with. Without going into much detail, suffice it to say, it's very difficult, and requires much prayer, and much talent in the numbers department, to manage a household of this size. Sometimes it works out well, other times it doesn't. Most times, lately, it doesn't.

I often question myself (as I think we all should) about where my trust is - where my faith is - where I find my strength. Do I really trust God to provide for my family, or am I trusting myself and my ability to make my budget work? I have to be honest and say I often trust my own ability, and not the Lord. It grieves me to say that, but it's true.

When I do this - everything falls apart. My comfort, my assurance, my mood, my attitude, and often times, my budget.

Last week I do what I always do, every other Thursday. I sat down to go over the budget, and see what's due, what's coming in, how much for each, and make everything balance out. Before I do any of that however, I pray. I have learned that when I have not prayed for wisdom, and guidance in this area, the struggle to make everything balance out, is much more difficult. Even when it still doesn't balance out, if I have prayed, there is a peace there and a hope there, that somehow God will make a way. The difference in me, when I take the time to remember who's controlling the circumstances, is phenomenal.

So this brings me back to the same place I started. God taking you through trials and difficult times, for His own glory. To also teach you, and build up your character. Strengthen your faith, and deepen your hope.

I know all this. I've lived it, and am living it, over and over again. And yet I still struggle with it. It's not pleasant, by any stretch of the imagination.

The specific area I struggle with is money. Yuck, the big bad M word. I hate money - it's a huge hindrance for those who do not have it, and a huge stumbling block for those who have an abundance. (I confess, I've never been in the latter category, but I've seen it enough to know it certainly does cause people to do some pretty ludicrous things).

I don't like to talk about it, because it generates a whole host of extreme reactions from people. At the same time I struggle with it, part of me says "the Lord will provide, He always does" while another part of me is saying things like "how are you going to find the resources for THIS!?". I hate this struggle, and I'm almost afraid to admit that too, since I know His hand is on this very situation.

Obviously I have more to learn from this time of difficulty. Joseph spent many years in prison, before God began to shift his circumstances to place him where He wanted him. I don't like to speculate, so I can only guess when I say that maybe the Lord will have me in this situation for years to come, before anything changes. I honestly do not know. I sure wish (and pray for) I had more faith to trust His providence, and not get anxious about things, where finances are concerned.

I needed to hear that message about Joseph, this week. I needed to be reminded, again.

This may have not made one bit of sense to anyone - but I sure feel better after writing it.

SDG
me